Nurse Jackie

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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t makes little sense and may or may not be related to her current issues -- At some point her mother ran off with her boyfriend, and married him on her 25th birthday, sure, but is that the same guy who's the evil stepfather now? We know less about Eleanor's life than Jackie's coworkers do about hers -- and Eleanor's like, "Funny joke that also happens to be my life. Why do you think I shop so much?"

Eleanor's sister recently flew from Paris to London, where she was "turned away from mother's bedside by the wicked stepfather." Jackie makes a class-related funny about how similar their lives are, and Eleanor admits it's a whole big fucking mess. Then she takes off her shirt in the middle of the store, freaking Jackie out and causing her to chase Eleanor in her knickers all over the place. "But I figure if Stella McCartney can steer her way clear from a one-legged, gold-digging stepmother, and still make something this beautiful? I too can endure." (Don't forget vegetarian.) Exhausted, Jackie drops as Eleanor runs off in the direction of spring knits. "I HATE SHOPPING!" she screams. But at least you can do it with somebody as publicly inappropriate as you are, that's got to count for something.

Thor precedes Mo-Mo into the room with a tray and another nurse, and Mo-Mo tells the young spider guy to take off his shirt so it doesn't get wet. Thor lets him know that it's a spider, so of course he wigs, and then they flush it out with a big syringe. Mo-Mo is horrified, but Thor ("down came the rain and washed the spider out") handles the situation with aplomb. And that mother is anything but itsy-bitsy. Mo-Mo shudders, Thor and the other lady take off, and then the kid starts talking about a weird feeling in his other ear, to Mo-Mo's horror. "What do you, live in the woods?"

Jackie finally just tosses the roses in the trashcan under her desk, and tells Zoey she can give Victor 50mg of some pain medication I don't recognize. They fight with him about Kevin Costner, The Guardian, Ashton Kutcher, and when Zoey pushes the meds into his drip, he suddenly goes into respiratory arrest. Eleanor shows up pretty quickly and asks what they did to him, considering he came in with a broken elbow, and Zoey tries to be professional about her choice of meds, but Eleanor throws the bottle at her: she was meant to give him 50mg, but she put in 250mg instead. She goes off on Zoey, making her repeat the correct dosage twice and screaming ("This is the easiest part of your job! Do you understand?") before Jackie steps in and sends her away.

Zoey's crying in the bathroom when Jackie shows up, of course, but she listens well. Jackie is firm, and sympathetic but not to a fault, and informs her that she's off the floor and not dealing with patients for now. "This isn't good," she says calmly, and just as Zoey's about to pull it together Gloria comes in screaming at them both. She marches Zoey up to her office and Jackie lingers, popping a whole fucking handful of pills and groaning to herself as she chews them up.

The boys take Zoey to lunch and she looks sadly at her pizza while they watch her. "The first thing I think every morning is, 'I hope I don't kill anyone today,'" she says, and Thor grants that it's good to have goals, at least. "The only thing I want to do besides help people," Zoey elaborates, "Is not kill them." Mo-Mo and Thor both offer examples of their own major fuckups: Thor shaved a woman's pubic hair before her tonsillectomy; Mo-Mo missed an aneurysm on his fourteenth day, having left the room for ninety seconds. They assure her it's going to be fine, and on the other side she'll be a better nurse, and Thor says the alternative is to let it destroy you, but before they can comfort her past her Zoey Zone, she suddenly yells, "Oh my God, you're gay! I just got that." Good Lord.

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Nurse Jackie

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