The little person in his clutches is Zoey Brakow, a first year nursing student at Queens Community College, and right out the gate you can tell she is supermegaweird. This actress Merritt Wever, the more I watch her the more I think about what it felt like the first time you saw Jonah Hill or Jack McBrayer, or when you started taking Anna Faris seriously. She's got something, and it is weird, and it is complete, and it's not really ganked from anywhere. It's like, turn Michael Cera's fruity clueless smartness into one of those girls who was into horses as a teen, teach her ASL, throw some Twihard in there, multiply by Kenneth Parcell's chilling, superhuman unsinkability and you're... almost there. So that's Zoey.
She screams multiple hellos at Jackie as though auditioning for the part of Blanche DuBois in an outpatient rehab production, who stares at Mo-Mo, who explains that he took the last three students. "Fuck off, Mohammed. No offense," she says carelessly to Zoey, who still seems like if you looked at the floor her toes would just barely be brushing it. But then Mo-Mo's off, making the sign of the cross at Mrs. Akalitus as he jumps sideways into the shadows.
Akalitus yells at Jackie about her 80-hour work weeks, speaking in the Corporate We about how "All Saints Hospital & Its Myriad Subsidiaries" can't endorse this shit, and Jackie's like, "Mrs. Akalitus, please. Please. I am with a student." Her way with Akalitus is very funny, like they're having tea; Mrs. Akalitus's way with Jackie is very funny, like they are playing chess for the power over life and death, but still friendly. Akalitus tells her that after 12 and a half hours, nurses are three times likelier to fuck up. "Lies, Mrs. Akalitus!" Jackie booms, like the maiden aunt from an Oscar Wilde play. "Lies!"
Jackie tries to make off with the student again, and Akalitus bullet-points two more issues. The first is whether Jackie took Dr. Ekebwe's pen (yes, and as we shall see for good reason) and whether she can work a double shift on Monday (also yes). I think it is a good idea to be afraid of Mrs. Akalitus in the abstract, but you have to admire an administrator that starts a convo yelling about overtime and ends up asking you to take a double. That's the kind of irony on which our best bureaucracies thrive, but if you do it with a smile, your people will follow you anywhere. Akalitus does it with a smile that says she damn well knew the answer to both questions before she ever chased Jackie across the hospital.