"I'm sorry, Eddie. I don't know how to do this. If you need for us not to be friends, I get it. You might wanna call your buddy Kevin, tell him you got the job. He's crazy about you, you know?" And just like that, everything's normal and they're just witnesses or bystanders to the weirdness of the situation she has totally created and to which he is totally an accomplice: "This is weird," he says; "So fuckin' weird," she snorts. And it's all true, and it's all exactly what he needed to hear, and it's all exactly what she needed to say; but it's also how she actually feels. Works if you work it.

God finds an upright piano stranded on the street, painted with Starry Night, and rolls it away and into the hospital, where He can do the most good with it.

Speaking of God, our first patient -- and this one is super in-depth, like, a Grey's Anatomy amount of energy is put into this patient, which never happens on this show -- is a lady who fell into a hole in the sidewalk and has really bad internal bleeding. She and her husband David, with whom she has two kids, are majorly Orthodox and he wants her transferred to Beth Israel. Problem #1 is the internal bleeding, problem #2 is that she is a convert -- possibly they both are -- and so her parents are making this into a battle of wills with her husband.

Jackie separates the parents and husband, gets the ICU ready, and barks at Zoey for nearly touching one of the pens in her desk caddy. One assumes that it is full of drugs, or lies. Meanwhile, there's another set of patients coming in, a Farsi and Armenian pair of street-vendor rivals who got into a hot-oil fight. Apparently Nurse Sam speaks all the languages, so he translates their various insults while over here, Fitch is trying to flirt Thor into helping him with his fantasy football team. And by "flirt" I mean a Fitch Cooper kind of flirting, where everything he does is both flirting and not flirting, because he has no clues about the world.

"That's the first time in two years you've gotten my name right. You call me Sport, Chief, Wegian and Grande D, which I assume stands for Big Diabetic." Bygones now; Sam warns Thor that Coop will probably end up sleeping with his boyfriend and Coop shrugs, like, not even Coop can tell you what Coop's likely to screw up in a given day.

Jackie tries with the husband, David, but he manages to make his case -- for transfer to Beth Israel -- in about the only way she would actually listen to: "We made vows. We have beliefs. They either mean everything or nothing." Jackie's pretty susceptible to church logic, because her relationship with God secretly underpins everything else, but you can also see her being, at this moment particularly, very drawn to and fascinated by (but also terrified of and repelled by) the idea of actually being committed to something.