Coop, unsurprisingly, totes Melissa's flowers to Eddie's office like immediately, for reasons of bromance that he describes as "allergies." Eddie asks if they're from a grateful patient, and Coop crows: "GIRLFRIEND!" Eddie gives him the requested approval/doggie snack, calling his the life of Riley. Coop, of course, has no idea what this means. Additionally, of course, it is time to dish about Jackie. Or it would be, if Jackie hadn't finally gotten it together and gone looking for Coop.

Jackie asks Eddie for a moment so she can pull what promises to be a nuclear-level mindfuck on the kid, and shoots him the sweetest, loveliest smile when he balks. "I'll keep her away from the good stuff," Coop jokes, calling him "bro," and Jackie's like, "You really just said that." It wouldn't matter what he said, partly because anything he says has an automatic douchiness, but mostly because she is picking a fight right now. He's like, "Um, it was a joke?" And she presses: "Yes. No, I realize that." He gets scared and his boob-grabbing hand is already getting antsy as he explains he was trying to lighten the tension. Jackie then shuts the Harmacy window, and his balls subsequently crawl into his sternum, so good luck there.

"There is always going to be tension between us," Jackie says, and the truly alien geometry of what she's about to do becomes clear. Oh, girl! I love you! That is some Xena Warrior Princess shit right there. Not to mention proof positive from the creative team that lesbians know exactly what they're doing when they scare the shit out of you, which I've always wondered about.

"We're different," Jackie says, starting slow. "I don't get you, don't get your humor. I really don't appreciate you coming after me with this donor shit." He whines, it does nothing. "You weren't there. There was a huge gap where a doctor was supposed to be. I jumped in. It's not a big deal."

All of which is true, but not the point. (The point is still about a mile off, but you can see her getting there, and feel it thoom thooming deep underground, like the monsters of Mordor.) Coop protests that it is, in fact, a big deal, because he is the one who is qualified. Oh, girl! No you didn't! "New York law says that, not me." You did! Jackie is going to eat your kidneys! You need those! This is awesome! "Either way that's insulting," she says, and he's sad for saying it, because obviously it's insulting in more than even the two ways she's talking about.