Nurse Jackie

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1301 USERS: B-
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"I Am The Least Of My Problems."

The thing I saw was Dr. Fitch Cooper. The thing he was doing was freestyle rapping.

Coop runs back to the girlfriend, sort of on fire with his audacity, and goes, "Fuck! I told you, I'm a total knob! I don't have a cool bone in my body!" She tells him at least he has cool clothes on, which soothes his savage breast a great deal, and he can tell she wants to leave -- Sam, basically this is all Sam does, do this activity and not do drugs, which sounds about right -- and Coop goes, "You wanna bounce? I can walk you home if you want." And as scared as I am for that young woman's breasts in the near future, that's exactly how proud I am of Coop for using "bounce" correctly. On his first day of knowing that word!

Eleanor goes down to attack the shit out of Ortho, pulling a whole Shirley MacLaine on them about the differing levels of their professionalism, and why isn't anybody taking care of Jackie, and all this. They stare at her blankly, because who is she even talking about?

The lady downstairs, bugging her daughter's therapist about the hair-pulling and its severity, who is still not getting the information she requires, which is how many secrets does Grace know and how many of them is she spilling and are any of them a reason Jackie can put a hand on and say, "My daughter is destroying herself inch by inch and this is the diagnosis and now we can help her, because I am not the problem. This other thing is the problem."

Jackie gets off the phone and shit gets horrible. A lady comes up screaming because her epileptic boyfriend's having the first seizure she's ever been around for, and don't Jackie's scrubs mean she can help him, and Jackie kneels down and props the guy's head up, and the woman is not doing so well, to be honest, and so she sends the lady outside to wait for the EMTs to come, and then more urgently sending the lady outside when she sees that his jacket pockets are stuffed with baggies of bright blue pills, Roxicodones, and while praying she scoops them all out of his jacket -- "Holy shit, are you a dealer? You a fuckin' doctor, what?" -- and into her purse, and the whole time his body is convulsing, his eyes are rolled back, she's begging God's forgiveness but she's not stopping, telling the guy again and again that he's going to be okay while the seizure rips through his brain and she robs him blind.

Nurse Jackie

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