"...You don't have a mother? Or a best friend? Or somebody you can be having this conversation with?" Heh. Zoey explains that this falls under keeping secrets and keeping your private life private, which is firmly in the exact middle and takes up most of Jackie's wheelhouse. "Um, we're not talking about me." Which is exactly Zoey's point (NICE). Jackie points out, having been caught in quite a rhetorical trap and now taking part in this conversation, that seeing him every day might become weird. "It's already kind of weird," Zoey chirps. That is because you are weird, Zoey. He is being adorable and normal; you are being weird. Jackie warns her against fooling around with co-workers, and says if she's going to go for it, then she needs to slow it down. That's when Zoey fucks up.
"But the heart wants what the heart wants! You know what I'm talking about." Jackie's appalled but doesn't actually get up yet, and Zoey brings up Eddie by name, and Jackie's actually upset enough for a moment that she says something real. "Okay, Zoey, you know what? Yes. You and Lenny in a back room, on a cot somewhere, and someone like you can walk in on you, that's good stuff! Very romantic! And I wish you all the best." And with that, and Zoey nodding excitedly/cluelessly about each aspect of this tawdry little story, she leaves. Poor Zoey, it's always one step forward and two steps back, on the long road to acting like a reasonable person. She calls out sort of tenderly to Jackie, and then nods, or jerks her head in that way she does when she's nodding to herself: "Okay, it... Good talk. Thank you."
Coop has somehow drafted Sam into hanging out with him on a cot somewhere in the back of the hospital, eating sandwiches and "talking shit about nurses." Sam reminds him that, um, he is a nurse, and Coop asks him why he isn't a doctor. Sam turns it around on him but Coop doesn't understand: "I am a doctor." No, like, how come he's not a nurse? Coop laughs so fucking hard at that one, because it's literally outside the realm of possibility and it didn't even occur to him that he was saying that. "All the work, none of the pay? Zero glory? I'd die. I'd be dead." Sam claims to have an awesome life, and Coop says maybe but not by Coop's standards, essentially, and Sam offers to let Coop tag along on his adventures after work. Coop cannot believe his awesome luck and whispers -- once Sam convinces him he's not kidding -- "What should I wear?"
That old lady is totally pregnant, by the way, talking about Diane Keaton and all kind of old lady stuff, and she sort of trances out and goes, "I never even thought about being a mother. Maybe one summer when I was 26, I thought about how great it would be to have a bunch of kids." She asks Eleanor, who admits she's wanted to be a mother her whole life. (See? At first you're surprised but then you're like, that makes total sense. Fiona and Grace, Jackie and Zoey, her mysterious family issues, the way she uses attitude and money to get the same distance from life as Jackie does drugs and polyandry -- none of those things rule out wanting a kid. There's just so much... Bullshit, between here and there.)