Cooper picks up the jewelry box and Eddie says he can open it if he wants. "Whoa. That's nice! It's unisex, right?" Oh, Coop. Eddie's not sure. Coop plays with the bracelet and tells an awesome story: "I bought a Cartier watch when I graduated med school? I got robbed at gunpoint two days later, I was like, Really?"
I don't know why, but that little speech is my favorite part of the episode. I was like, really? I know it feeds into the whole God vs. Caucasian Men thing at the end of the episode, but the way he says it is so delightful. So Big Pharma agrees that people suck, and Coop shakes the bracelet in his face, asking who it's for. "I've had a pretty bad day," Eddie starts out meanly, putting on his Mean Old Man voice like he did last week with Zoey, "So I don't feel like talking about Cartier, or fucking bracelets, or fucking Trump Marina, if that's okay with you."
Coop pulls a little Zoey move of his own, jumping right over the hostility and pretty severe indictment inherent in that speech, and just nods. "Sure!" He hands it back over and asks Eddie what's up, offhandedly. Eddie, feeling bad about being mean to the overactive Labrador Retriever that is Fitch Coop, even if he doesn't really know how mean he was, and knowing this is how you deal with a Coop (or an Eleanor), offers him the bracelet. "Don't get robbed," he says, but a severe sunshine attack has just taken over Coop's face, shouting "AWESOME!" and shoving the pastry into his face some more. Man, I love Fitch Cooper. (Do I lose what little cred I have if I admit that my first thought was, "This is where Emmett Cullen gets it"?)
God's still screaming; you can even hear him best in the chapel hall, where it's usually quiet. Eleanor passes Jackie, distracted, and Jackie grabs her to ask where the "muffiny things" went. She admits she gave them to Coop -- which means he was eating Eleanor's love for Jackie at the same time he was putting on Eddie's, which bodes well for none of the above -- and doesn't even engage in banter about it, just sends Jackie, with a certain professional edge in her voice, to check on the Steak Knife people. She says something about her lipstick fading and her ass, but I listened a million times and couldn't suss it out. I'm sure it was good, but not her best.