Nurse Jackie

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
A Woman To Look After You

Because Jackie is a brave little soul, you see, and is willing to prove that he means so much more to her than the pills that it's easy to say fuck it to both. Because Jackie is a smart little addict, and knows that this point will stick in his head just a bit longer than his anger, and when he comes crawling back with pills in hand, because he is in love with her, she knows that somewhere in his head he'll know that it's not because of the pills that she takes him back.

And somewhere else in both their heads, they'll wonder if that's true, but we live wherever it feels nicest, so he'll be able to overlook this question, like he's been doing for the past year, and for her this question will stay locked up in a room so far away from where she lives you can't even find it with a map, and she'll focus on whatever is in front of her instead of looking for it. Like she's been doing for a long, long time.

A repeat sex offender comes in, having passed out in police custody. "His nuts were like..." the cop says, hands gone huge and balloony. Zoey tells her they ordered a Foley cath, but now she can't get it out. Jackie nods. This is going to be awesome! Jackie Justice! Repeat sex offender (1) with something stuck in his dick (2) plus Jackie still being pissed off from a second ago (3)? Man alive.

Zoey smiles and he stares back at them, screaming over and over, "Get this thing out of my dick!" Over in the corner, putting on her gloves, Jackie asks lightly -- terrifying, if you know Jackie at all, which he doesn't -- if Zoey deflated the little balloon at the tip of the thing. Well, she tried, but maybe it didn't work. The guy's still screaming about his dick, which causes the cop to get aggro with him, and Jackie ushers the cop away before telling Mo-Mo to hold the guy's shoulder. He pats him lightly and holds him down as Jackie warns him that he'll feel some "pressure," then untapes the catheter from his thigh, taking her time, looks down angrily at the offending organ... And in the graceful quiet, she plants her feet and lets it RIP.

"There ya go," she says lightly, sort of on fire from God right now, and appalled Mo-Mo yanks her, almost screaming, past a stressing Zoey and out of the hospital altogether. "He's a fucking pedophile, Mo-Mo!" Jackie shouts, and he's like, "Yes, but you cannot do that shit." He explains that the man is a patient in the hospital, and abusing their genitals might get her in trouble. She admits that she's frustrated, having just fought with "A man. Guy. Friend. Guy friend." He grabs her arm with a gay gasp: "Boyfriend?" She rolls the word around in her mouth: "Yes. I had a fight with my... boyfriend."

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Nurse Jackie




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