Coop pulls a little Zoey move of his own, jumping right over the hostility and pretty severe indictment inherent in that speech, and just nods. "Sure!" He hands it back over and asks Eddie what's up, offhandedly. Eddie, feeling bad about being mean to the overactive Labrador Retriever that is Fitch Coop, even if he doesn't really know how mean he was, and knowing this is how you deal with a Coop (or an Eleanor), offers him the bracelet. "Don't get robbed," he says, but a severe sunshine attack has just taken over Coop's face, shouting "AWESOME!" and shoving the pastry into his face some more. Man, I love Fitch Cooper. (Do I lose what little cred I have if I admit that my first thought was, "This is where Emmett Cullen gets it"?)
God's still screaming; you can even hear him best in the chapel hall, where it's usually quiet. Eleanor passes Jackie, distracted, and Jackie grabs her to ask where the "muffiny things" went. She admits she gave them to Coop -- which means he was eating Eleanor's love for Jackie at the same time he was putting on Eddie's, which bodes well for none of the above -- and doesn't even engage in banter about it, just sends Jackie, with a certain professional edge in her voice, to check on the Steak Knife people. She says something about her lipstick fading and her ass, but I listened a million times and couldn't suss it out. I'm sure it was good, but not her best.
Jackie shrugs and tends to the lady, who asks hysterically if the guy is dead, but Jackie puts her at ease. She calls him "the greatest guy," like a "pearl in the dirt," and Jackie nods while she weeps. "I never get the nice ones. I'm like a creep magnet!" She says it's like God said, "Okay, that's enough assholes, Laurie," and sent her Zach. Grace is quiet, you have to look for it. Jackie promises guys like him bounce back every day, but she's not entirely comforted. "It was our first date." Beat. "He's not going to call me again, is he?" Jackie stares, because try and get my sympathy for not having enough men in your life, today of all days.
Gloria wanders the hospital with the baby in her arms, looking for its owner, past Mo-Mo counseling a tearful Zoey about something. Bet it's something nutty! Jackie rolls her eyes past some nuns and asks what it is this time. Zoey wipes her tears and shushes Mo-Mo, but he explains that God told her her hair was thinning. "He said I had a bald spot!" At wit's end, Jackie seriously goes, "Zoey, look at me. Stop going outside." I'm sure there was more to that thought, but just then she spots the bracelet on Coop's wrist and is horrified. She completely forgets that Zoey and Mo-Mo are there, and goes into a serious confusion fugue. "Daddy's gonna fix this," Mo-Mo says, and storms away from the still-weeping Zoey, who shrieks, "Mo-Mo, don't! God's mean!"