Then it's later and Jackie's coming up out of the subway and behind her there's a billboard, for some aspirin product, for "aches and pains," and then it's later and she's drinking a coffee outside the hospital when a cab drives up. Eleanor plops a Barney's bag on the street, old blouse hanging out of it, buttoning up the new blouse, stretching luxuriously one pointed toe into a beautiful pair of red pumps. Eleanor, what are you like? That's really odd. Nobody's like that. She's like a fantasy, a cartoon fantasy. She's like... Oh, she's what you call a Golightly: a phony, but a real phony, not like those assholes on Sex & The City. She's like a woman dressed as a drag queen. She's like Lorenzo Lamas.
"Jacks!" Eleanor shouts, handing over the Barney's bag and asking her to "recycle" it, meaning handing it to some crazy-looking bag lady who can't believe her luck. She pretends, or else this show is really weird and in which case she claims, to be acquainted with dry cleaning from having seen it "in a movie once" and to find it tedious. I don't know where to put her, because the fuck any of this would actually happen. What was that show where Bobcat Goldthwaite would go down to the basement and talk to the Muppet in the couch? Maybe Eleanor is Jackie's couch Muppet. I hope not, though, because A) I love her, and B) Coop and Zoey talk to her so they're Muppet-talkers too, but also C) You can't have a couch Muppet as your Chief of Surgery or whatever she is. It's against the law.* Eleanor reminds Jackie to take off her wedding ring, and they head inside, past some nuns. Drink!
(*And it will remain so until such time as those furry fucks prove they actually deserve and can fully appreciate and bear responsibility for the rights they keep demanding so outrageously and vociferously and rhymingly.)
Mo-Mo's talking about getting allergy meds from Eddie regarding his shitty boyfriend Randy's stupid cat Bonbon the histamine machine, and Randy's all over him about it. Yes, he faked a sore throat at Danny and Don's party, but only because he hates tapas. Who the eff hates tapas? And anyway, stop questioning Mo-Mo. Zoey runs up and he rings off, and she's got muffins and a weird chirping sound coming out of her... Right, that's her voice.













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