So their restaurant is obviously closed, with a big sign saying so, but they don't notice, so Eleanor starts whining and Jackie, kidding, offers to buy her a street-vendor hot dog, which causes her to totally melt down, and it's amazing. "I'm just kidding! I would never!" Jackie says, hugging Eleanor, while through her tears she exclaims horrifiedly, "A HOT DOG? A HOT DOG?" They're awesome. Unrealistic and beyond silly sometimes, but awesome.
Nurse Jackie grabs Coop, just past some nuns (drink!), and she has trouble catching up with him because of the pooch-lip hurt feelings, but she lets him know about the aneurysm, and he sighs and smiles quietly, and she tells him now's the time to gloat, so he goes, "I fucking knew it!" And that's all he gets. Time's up. Then Jackie, voice modulated precisely without getting deeper or quieter, but somehow more serious, but not so much that it will be a suddenly serious or overly intimate or otherwise obnoxious conversation.
Listen, I want to tell you something, and I don't... Wellll, okay. I think that you think that you are a bad doctor. And I think you do all this easy-breezy bullshit to make up for it. And I think, however -- and if you tell anybody this I will deny it, and string you up and bleed you out -- I think you are... A good doctor.
Oh, how Coop smiles now, with tears in his eyes. Staring at her with an abundance of love, and not the slightest inclination toward boob-grabbing, unconscious or no. She gets nervous and yells at him that it's not a compliment, it's his job, and if he's good that makes it easier for her to do hers. So then he hugs her, full vertical contact, just embraces her with gratitude and respect and no small amount of affection. And he loves it too, as she's saying don't don't don't, because it makes her exceedingly uncomfortable, which he loves also with no small amount of affection toward her.
Mo-Mo sees this, and is shocked. Finally Coop breaks the clinch and thanks him, tears still welling, and he walks off with a spring in his step and she can't even move, stricken by the Fear, and Mo-Mo's like, The fuck was that? And she goes, "Oh, you know... Horrifying..." And then before she can breathe, Mrs. Akalitus appears out of nowhere looking totally insane, looking like Wile E. Coyote in her own way, looking like the Bride, looking like she has been electrocuted while having sex in a barn.
Percocet non! I cannot in good conscience start abusing scrips -- which has always been the plan, for when we turn forty and nobody wants to touch us anymore, and our livers have become just strips of blackened ash -- knowing that this is what it does to your hair. That is so against the Geneva Conventions, the hair. That hair is straight-up HUAC.
(It's a pun!) So then, Akalitus throws her arms around Jackie, after the poor mean lady has had like five seconds of not-hugging, and goes, "YOU ARE A GOOD LADY, LADY!" Mo-Mo is eating with a tiny little silver spoon and Jackie is about to pass out, when some alarm somewhere goes off and they run away wildly while Akalitus is still laughing uproariously, with the hair, and then all alone in the alarum-blaring hallway she stops for a second and goes, "Where's my purse?"
...Perfect cut to next thing, which is John Q who is now bleeding everywhere, and has in fact tripped the fire alarm, just like his Native American name always said he would. So the guy's ranting, okay, but this time he's not getting tackled or Thor'd, and can actually get his actual rant out, while he struggles under the hands of like ten strong men: basically, that "you," meaning All Saints, "took her fucking legs," and now he has to "push her in a chair" and there's a "bag of piss" involved, and so what the fuck where they paying for, all these years: Michael Moore and John Q would like to know what the deal is with our country's health care system.
Nurse Jackie, now that she has puzzled out the nature of JQ's complaint and judged its worth, immediately and calmly asks them to uncuff the guy. The guy, remember, who hit her and almost made our Zoey quit. He hit her really hard, and now she would like you to uncuff him, because he wasn't being undignified, he had a grievance and was too pained and afraid and tired and sad to explain it properly. He didn't give up his dignity, it was taken away, again and again.
Zoey can't handle the idea of him getting uncuffed, but the ice-cold breeze blowing through her name when Jackie says it -- Zoey, like it's all one syllable, less, almost like it's a letter of the alphabet we forgot -- snaps everybody to. "So help me God," she tells the cops holding him down. Coop says he'd feel better, and Jackie spits, amazingly, "You were right about the aneurysm," and he backs off. The cop says they can't anyway, because the hospital's going to press charges, unless the guy is being held, like, if he's psychotic. "Fine, he is. See ya."
They uncuff him and Coop says "seeya" to the cops, like her, and they care for JQ's hand, and he is bereft. He informs them that he's not crazy, and apologizes for hitting her. She asks his name; it is Lewis. Does she have any idea, how much it costs to insure a morbidly obese, alcoholic, diabetic, woman with a heart murmur? That seems like a riddle but I can't think of anything funny you might say after that.
Less than socialism. That's pretty funny.
"This your mom?" Jackie asks; it is. He has two jobs; she has negative that many legs. Jackie and Coop put him in a bed for the night, for the blood loss if nothing else, and she sends Zoey to snag Social Services. "We're going to help you, Louis," she says, and claps him on the shoulder.
Then it's later and Jackie's filling out paperwork, filling out paperwork, and Zoey's hovering about three feet back, and Jackie coughs Hovering so she steps back one single step and Jackie's filling out paperwork and she's hovering so Jackie goes, Still hovering, and it has no effect. Maybe she thinks it's rhetorical.
Finally, exasperated, Jackie loses the bet with herself that she wouldn't look up from the paperwork and looks up from the paperwork, and like a flock of well-meaning and soft-spoken weirdo Valkyries she descends. "I'm not sure that I can do this," Zoey says. "I mean you... You and Mom are so good at what you do. And the doctors, OH MY GOD. They're healers. And this place is so amazing..." Jackie isn't patient exactly but she neither hits the girl nor walks away, which is sort of the same thing. "I got into nursing school because I want to help people. And I'm afraid I'm just slowing you down."
Ugh, this thing. I've been the Zoey here and I've been the Jackie here and girl there is no escaping the ugliness. "Dear Boss Lady, why won't you love me?" Dear Underling, why the fuck do you need me to love you? "Dear Boss Lady, because I love you, because I want to be you, because I want the success and the passion and the knowledge and the ineffable rightness and righteousness that attends every choice and move you make." That's fine, but not right now, I'm not your Mom, feelings have no place here, and you just drooled on this. It was new. Now it is drooly.
Or what she says, which makes me wish that Nurse Jackie loved me at least as much as she loves Fitch Cooper, if not Zoey. "What's this about, nobody ate your muffins? You found an ear in the toilet? So what? This job is wading through a shitstorm of people who come into this place on the very worst day of their lives."
Wow, right? But there's more. "And just so you know, doctors are here to diagnose, not heal. We heal. All Saints is in the business of flipping beds, that's it, end of story. The fact that you have even the slightest inclination to help people puts you miles ahead of 100% of the population. So stop crying, okay? Buck up. If you need to cry, go to the ladies' room. Is that clear?"
It is. It might be necessary right now, actually, to stave that off. Jackie's th