Jackie squirts the needle into a glass of champagne; Thor fills up their glasses one by one. Zoey stands in the back, near Jackie: done begging, done trying to do anything but inaction. "I just. You know. Want to be here. Okay?" Jackie's lack of an answer is her answer, but it's the right one: there aren't any rules because it's new every time. She looks at the floor.
"Okay, a toast. Here's to you, and here's to me, and if we ever disagree, fuck you. And here's to me!"
She downs it in one, wisely. Thor and Mo-Mo and the nurses drink; Mo-Mo chokes it down, Zoey doesn't drink. "...What are you all looking at me for? That's all I got!" She smiles a moment as it burns, going down. And then her face changes, and the immensity hits her, and she feels him walking in the door. "Jackie. I need a priest..."
Grateful for the errand and anxious to do this right, Jackie goes sprinting to the hospice. She puts her fingers on a man's throat, grabbing at the priest at his bedside. "Okay, you got ten minutes, honey, and I need him for five. Come on." The priest goes -- wouldn't you? -- and administers her Last Rites as they watch. And they watch the lights go out of her, and he leaves.
In the silence, now that it's happened, Thor weeps. "Fuck you," Jackie says suddenly, "And here's to me." Mo-Mo's the first to laugh, and then Thor, and Zoey smiles, and they are all laughing. That's the ritual. Gloria throws open the curtains and stares at them all; Jackie's smile is defiant, but dropping. "If there's anything funny with that bag," Jackie points at her IV, "I'll have your asses. Every single one of them." They roll their eyes, as she's leaving.
Jackie opens the door of an apartment building and steps inside. The mailboxes line a wall. Upstairs, she heads into an apartment, and stares around herself. Ready to cry now, looking around at what's left of a life, at the hours in pain and fitful breathing it must have taken to clean up after herself, without the benefit of oxygen. The room is full of moving boxes, paintings lean against the wall. Everything is packed up. Everything is ready to go.
Discuss this episode in our Nurse Jackie forums, then see how Jackie's bedside manner compares to Meredith Grey's in TV is the Answer!