Nurse Jackie

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1223 USERS: B
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Eleanor crazies all over about how she wants to bypass the Kevin part of that equation as usual, become their godmother, kidnap them from school and go to lunch at the St. Regis: "Love is more important than reading!" she exclaims. So true. Eleanor tries to wander away and Jackie grabs her just as Zoey drives up in a taxi, recapitulating Eleanor's entrance last year with the switching shoes into her clogs and shoving morning pastry in her face. Weird!

Zoey in a taxi implies that Zoey exists somewhere outside the hospital, like, she has an apartment or something, with walls, pinned to which you might find a poster of that cat, just hangin' in there, or an entire bookshelf filled with nothing but dolls' heads and superhero action figures modified to look like various heroic Barbara Streisands. Or self-portraits of herself as Van Gogh, a Picasso nude, and American Gothic with two Zoeys, both of whom have cat heads on their shoulders. Or an intense farm animal motif on every surface decorative or otherwise. I'm thinking roosters, or maybe cute little piggies.

"Hey guys," she mumbles happily on her way in, and Eleanor immediately recognizes that girlfriend got laid. "Do we think Zoey got her pipes cleaned?" Jackie suffers a full-body shudder, including an awesome death-rattle barf sound -- which the closed-caps translate correctly as dyahh -- and says the thought of Zoey's pipes is like "seeing Santa naked." Yep. I mean, Zoey's awesome and her body is entitled to whatever it wants, but damn. Meanwhile, Eleanor's squeaking and chomping on the wrapper her hotdog came in. I wish she was my doctor!

Patient is adorable little Harry, who may or may not have cystic fibrosis. His parents scheduled a sweat test at Lenox Hill, but they can't get in for a month, and he woke up choking today. Jackie immediately bonds with the kid and charms the parents by agreeing that doctors suck, and promises to get the kid a lo-fi sweat test from Coop. Out in the hallway, Eleanor is dancing around with an Hermés scarf. She bumps into a forward-charging Zoey, who screams like she's been stabbed, and giggles: "Zoey, ma petite fleur!" Jackie grabs Eleanor, who has tied the scarf around Zoey's head like an Eastern European refugee, and drags her away. Guess what? Zoey gets super weird.

Nurse Jackie

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