Nurse Jackie
Nurse Jackie

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1329 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Beyond Good & Evil

And so that's what she does. And Elaine is sorry to see them go, but I doubt she's much surprised. And under the car seat, salvation nobody can see. And out in the world, for the first time: She looks down, and she is naked.

Methadone guy is shivering; he's in trouble deep. Fighting for survival. He can barely stand up. He starts cursing at Thor immediately, and Thor tells him to drop the tone, but he can't hear Thor anymore. Just the pounding. He screams, bent over double, bowels watery and terrified, and Coop starts yelling: It's not about the policy, it's not about being hardcore with addicts, it's about the fact that the guy is in literal detox, a medical emergency, and if they're not going to treat him as an outpatient and he can't wait any longer in Admitting, then they need to treat his symptoms.

Gloria's impressed, although she tells him to keep it down, and he gives a self-righteous speech about how he cares, and Zoey can't help but whisper about the missed pulmonary embolism -- you know, back before he was a hero, a couple of hours ago when he was a jerk -- before she vanishes. Gloria asks Eleanor out for a drink, and without even really knowing why, you get nervous, because the show has trained you for so long to think of Jackie's life like the spokes of a wheel, or those laser things the Ghostbusters use, and if one part touches another part, you know as well as I do -- as well as Jackie does -- that the world will end.

At the bar, Gloria delights the hell out of Eleanor by explaining that she still wears her wedding ring to keep gross guys away: "They see me in a nice suit and can't help themselves. Catnip! My whole life, many years." This is, of course, the biggest hoot in Eleanor's day, because it's adorable.

How do you play the alphabet game if you can't see anything? You look around inside the car. (Like for example, we could play "Look for Mommy's Drugs!") Fiona says J is for Jackie's Phone, Which Is Not A Toy, and dials Dr. O'Hara immediately once she has it in her hands -- "She called us three times!" -- no matter how many times Jackie, getting more and more furious and ugly by the second, tells her to hang up.

Eleanor's relieved and overjoyed when she gets the call, and after just a blip of disappointment burbles out a great Helloooo Fiona daaaarling before asking if Fiona likes her new school. Fiona can't quite hear her, since she's in a bar, which means maximum impact for Kevin, overhearing all of this despite Jackie's angry, desperate screams to give her the phone. "My new what? My new what? She wants to know if I've seen my new school. Do I have a new school?" Jackie just about hits Fiona trying to get the phone back and telling Kevin that Eleanor is clearly shitfaced and making no sense, and things get awful in the car. She says into the phone that it's not a good time, calls Eleanor "honey," hangs up, and everybody tries to figure out why Jackie just flipped the fuck out on Fiona, who is awesome. Even Grace is like, "That was uncalled for."

Nurse Jackie

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