They bring in this adorable kid who looks like a cross between Seth Cohen and the Kick-Ass kid, that was in that show The Days. Or the guy that christened Thunder Road in Explorers, but that kid would have to be like forty by now... No, you know who he is? From that threesome movie with Matt Saracen, Dare, and he was the cutest boy in Teeth. Ashley Springer. I knew he looked familiar. This role is like, the least bad things that ever happened to him and I say that knowing that what has happened is that he has stabbed himself in the thigh.

Coop asks if he got mugged by a midget, and Zoey tries to correct his usage, but he's all, "Sorry, Little Nurse Jackie," and she informs him that this is "very much a compliment." Coop recognizes the boy from his beloved Quiznos, and the kid rolls his eyes with the muttered oh, of course of somebody who is just fighting his way through a haze of pain to remember why Coop's face fills him with awkwardness and dread. "Meatball sub, lightly toasted!" Of course Coop is now in love with the kid, because he loves recognizing people because that means they relate to him in some way, which makes them important.

"Tell me how this happens to a man," Coop says very seriously, and the boy explains that he has Tourette's, but "not the yelling kind," which would suck. Zoey's like, "You have the really great stabbing yourself kind?" He explains that normally he just hits himself, rather than stabbing himself, usually around girls. How great would it be if Coop just started punching himself all the time? I would watch that show. One hand on a boob, the other hand balling up into a fist.

Coop totally identifies with Cute Quizno's Boy, but stops himself before admitting that he too gets the tics when he is "overwhelmed" by women, and the entirety of the nurses -- Zoey, Thor, Sam -- who are standing there (for some reason) stare and wait for Coop to admit his issues, and finally he clams up all, "We're gonna stitch you up and get you out of here in no time, Chief." I wouldn't say I'm disappointed, because you know later on Coop is going to crush on this kid some more, but the nurses seem a little let down.