Nurse Jackie
What the Day Brings

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Beyond Good & Evil

Jackie's planning some kind of getaway with Kevin and the kids, because the situation has gotten too hot. And I guess because she has remembered she loves her family, and Kevin. She gets off the phone with Fiona just as Eleanor is walking up, and she quickly ducks away, complaining about her duties. Eleanor follows her to the nurses' station after some acrobatics that Sylvester the Cat would be impressed by to stay away from her, including a stop at the commissary to buy a thing of dental floss. You might be thinking to yourself, "Good for Jackie! Dental hygiene is so important, especially for drug addicts," but I assure you this is not Jackie being responsible. Eddie breezes through, freaking her out, and the whole place suddenly starts seeming like this terrifying circus. Or like she's Indiana Jones hopping over snakes and sliding under doors and stuff.

Jackie tells Thor she's got to leave on time for her vacation, and he goes, "If you're running away, can I go too?" You have no idea. You start running with Jackie Peyton, you never stop running. Eleanor asks her to come to her office, and Jackie's like yeah yeah yeah and her heart's beating faster and faster, and the guy she mugged is standing there with a bouquet, so she grabs Zoey -- "Jackie, your MRI?" says Eleanor, but she's like the ghost of a problem right now -- and drags her into the bathroom. It's time to leave early! They're all after her!

"Oh my God, you're asking me to cover for you? I've dreamt of this day!" Jackie shoves Zoey back out into the hospital and locks herself inside a stall, and takes a bunch of her victim's pills out of her pocket and puts them in the floss box, and calls Kevin to say that the road trip starts immediately. "Do me a favor, explain to Grace about playing hooky, so she doesn't lose her shit." There's something here about how instead of dealing with Grace's problems she's learning to cope with Grace's problems, if you see what I mean. Like, it's impressive that Jackie is anticipating her daughter's emotional problems and working to alleviate the pressure Grace is constantly under, but still.

Sam's girlfriend's cat's ass is in Coop's face. So I guess Coop slept with Sam's girlfriend and honestly, after the beatboxing I don't blame her. That amount of dorkiness is sort of a dealbreaker. On the other hand, Coop's amount of dorkiness is mindblowing, but you know: Sam's a nurse, Coop's a doctor. Coop's all excited about the man-drama that might develop between him and Sam, but the girlfriend is not cosigning that at all: "People need to expand their minds. And I need to break up with him." Coop's mystified by that, and then the girl is pretty much like, "Because you're a doctor and he's a nurse, you will now be my boyfriend." And already with the allergies. And not only that, and her generalized shittiness, but also her phone's wallpaper is this creepy old-timey blow-up doll making that face.

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Nurse Jackie

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