Nurse Jackie
What the Day Brings

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Beyond Good & Evil

So this heroin addict comes up to Emergency to get his methadone, because he missed the clinic because his dog swallowed a chew toy. The thing is that nobody disbelieves him: He is clearly qualified for methadone, he's not just drug-seeking. But because of the policy, which is a good policy, all the nurses are like, "Seen it, done it, fuck off." He'll just have to come back tomorrow, or whatever. And so you have the individual case, this guy, and then the overall cases, which is if they make one exception then they have to make a bunch, or in other words if you give them an inch they'll take a mile, because they are addicts, and that's like the main thing they are about. So it's a good policy.

(Although I'm confused, because why would the methadone clinic close at 9 AM? And yeah, it's still the morning, because the kids never went to school and Coop just woke up. So then when is the clinic actually open, first of all, because if it's open all night that is the creepiest job in the universe. If not, then, do we really require heroin addicts to get like an early start to their day? That seems like a bad policy in itself. My only addictions are Diet Coke and proving my ethical mettle, I am not fighting a battle against heroin or anything like that, and yet when I make it out of bed before nine I throw myself a damn jubilee. I would give junkies a break as far as time management.)

Anyway, Zoey's trying to explain to this guy that since he missed the window, he needs to go down to Admitting for treatment, like any other person in trouble, because that's how a hospital works. The guy starts with the talky-talk and Thor lunges at him out of nowhere, with a growl that becomes a shriek, and then there's just a poof of smoke where the guy was. Luckily, he is gross-looking and twitchy and stinky, which is not only how you identify a drug addict, but also it helps you be hardcore with them.

They bring in this adorable kid who looks like a cross between Seth Cohen and the Kick-Ass kid, that was in that show The Days. Or the guy that christened Thunder Road in Explorers, but that kid would have to be like forty by now... No, you know who he is? From that threesome movie with Matt Saracen, Dare, and he was the cutest boy in Teeth. Ashley Springer. I knew he looked familiar. This role is like, the least bad things that ever happened to him and I say that knowing that what has happened is that he has stabbed himself in the thigh.

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Nurse Jackie




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