Last week, we left those irrepressible Peytons stranded on the side of the road. Daddy was walking it off, because he was mad that Mommy took the money from Eleanor to put Fiona in private school. Mommy couldn't really deal with that, because she was in withdrawal from how she's addicted to drugs and had to cut the vacation short.
Well, Jackie's still yelling at Kevin to get back in the car, and the girls are freaking out. Particularly Grace, due to how she's freaky anyway. Jackie edges up alongside him, pacing him while he walks, and Kevin says he refuses to get in an "enclosed space" with Jackie, and Fiona suggests that he get in back with them, since apparently in the backseat you don't need seatbelts. Jackie lies, as usual, about how this is just like a fun thing Mommy and Daddy like to do, and Kevin truths, as usual, that Fiona is accurate in her assessment (as usual) that he's having a tantrum. Jackie -- because honestly, how much do you put up with, regardless of your drug addiction, with this kind of shit -- finally just hits the gas.
Hours or minutes later, Jackie's feeling mighty fine in the kitchen, bug-eyed staring at Kevin as he comes in with no intent to chat. Her eyes bug out twice as hard when Eddie follows him in, having picked up Kevin on his motorcycle because he is the only person anybody knows in the entire world. "Tell me you didn't fucking say anything," Jackie hisses like a lunatic, and he's grossed out. "Thank you would've been cool," he guilts her, but there is no guilt in Jackie Peyton. Just staring and occasional vibrating.
Kevin's like, "I can't believe you left me on the side of the road." She agrees that it was fucked up. She tries to tell him why she took the money, and as though he knows it's a lie, he tells her to shut up. "You're right. I'm not here, not in the way you are. When they fall down, they run to you. There are days when I look at them and I think, you know, What the fuck? I gave birth to you." A few tears, at this point. "And I fucking hate myself for being so selfish, and for being competitive. You keep saying we don't need anybody's help, we're fine, but I don't have the peace of mind that you do, Kevin. And I'm fucking jealous that you can sleep at night."
All true. What's awesome about Jackie is that even when she's lying, she's not really lying. I mean, I think that in her head she took that money for the reasons she's saying, and just sort of refuses to put the pieces together of how she needed that money to pay off her egregious pharmacy drug-seeking expenses. I think it's been difficult for me to acknowledge how much denial goes into this story, because it's so unrecognizable. It seems inhuman to me that you could live this close to the surface.