Zoey catches Jackie putting her own PIN into the Pyxis (111986, her birthday) and Jackie lies her ass off for awhile -- Bad Jackie! Bad Jackie! -- before Zoey introduces the minor second patient of the episode: Guy whose cell phone exploded in his face. She's bringing him morphine from the gumball machine, which is her clever new name for the machine. In addition to the eyeshadow, Zoey is apparently also wearing perfume, which Jackie teases convincingly is the same fragrance Mrs. Akalitus wears. What does Gloria smell like? Rose water, or Chanel. Jackie wears nothing, but always smells like lemongrass and linen. Sam smells like heaven, or a Tom Ford. Possibly one of the Burberries. Thor smells like Le Male, which is a really nice smell for such a godawful bottle. Eleanor smells like one of the Poisons, or something from Viktor & Rolf. Eddie smells like futility and cough drops. Coop smells like Axe. Duh.

Gloria grabs Jackie later to cover a half-shift for Triage, and then questions Coop about the Twittering. Jackie explains, as he snorts and texts, that this is because he doesn't have real friends, and Coop brings up Eddie to get her back. This earns quite a look from Jackie, whose faces are on fire this week. "He works over at Excelsior Drugs, right around the corner. But if you followed me on Twitter, you would've known that three hours ago." They make fun of him some more and he babbles about social networking and it's gross and kind of dumb, and then Gloria ascertains that it can't tell her what Bellevue's lowest bid on medical waste removal is, or the fat content of a lemon bar, and is thus useless. Vanquished, Coop runs off just in time for Zoey to sniff Gloria loudly and ask if she wears L.A.M.B., which is actually funny, which this show usually is not when it's trying to be hip and current, vis this entire paragraph. For the record, she does not wear anything by Gwen Stefani.

More snorting in the WC, and outside the stall a lady is drinking liquor out of a water bottle. Jackie tells her to get the fuck, and then calls Kev when she's alone. He can't cover her covering the shift, because he's got to get to Jamaica Bay to get new barstools, but his suggestion -- horrible Ginny Flinn -- is wildly shot down. "She said she's always available," he totally says, and Jackie nearly laughs at how oblivious that is. (Remember for later: This is where Jackie bitches at him about time management and Kevin responds that she's not allowed to give him a hard time because he's for once the one stuck at work. It will be on the test.) Anyway, battle lost but the war's not over: "Do not call Ginny Flynn."