NYC Prep

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Monty Ashley: B- | Grade It Now!
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Hello, Children!

After the awkward pause has gone on long enough, Camille welcomes Cole to the party and he apologizes for not saying hello to her first. His excuse is that he didn't know which one was Camille. Well, okay. Say, do you find this paragraph boring so far? PC certainly does. He craves action, romance, hot-cha-cha! So he announces that it's time for "The Virgin Talk," but Camille shuts it down immediately. She feels that it's not appropriate dinner conversation to ask who's a virgin. PC tells us that virgins don't like talking about sex. Then he appears to decide that he's infinitely more mature than everyone else at the table and starts saying things like "What do you guys do for your free time? Play in the sandbox?" Put a sock in it, kid. Kelli accurately observes that PC's comments are, in fact, less mature than the rest of the conversation. When Kelli mentions that her birthday is tomorrow, PC asks where her bat mitzvah is, which is at least clever.

PC asks what everyone wants to do in the future, which is a decent topic of conversation. Really, Camille should have been leading the conversation, but I only know that from having read Miss Manners books extensively in my youth. Sebastian wants to be a journalist, presumably because he has nice hair. Taylor wants to be a elephant trainer. Sebastian is baffled by this. PC tells her that at first he thought that was ridiculous, but now he says go for it. He interviews that Taylor is either incredibly stupid or smart. PC tells Taylor that she has a very sweet voice and that he just wants to cuddle with her, and I assume he's just saying this to screw with Cole and Sebastian. He tells her if she were a veggie burger, he'd eat her. Because she's a vegan, see. She interviews that this makes perfect sense, because if she were a veggie burger, she'd want to eat herself. That doesn't make any sense at all. I advise you to put no further thought into it.

Hey, it's Jessie! She's at some... place... with coffee and baked goods. But not a Starbucks. Someplace classier and more expensive. She's waiting for PC and getting pretty annoyed by it. She tells us that it infuriates her when PC is late. But she doesn't react that way to anyone else being late. Suddenly! Camille shows up and makes a big show of being friendly. She commiserates about Jessie's anger about PC being late, but then immediately compares it to Jessie not showing up for her dinner party. Jessie tells her that she had bronchitis [How many days later is this? - Z] and Camille pretends to accept that answer. She describes some of PC's antics at the party, and Jessie isn't surprised. Jessie says that the only time PC would be politically correct is to be ironic. People are still being ironically politically correct? How mid-'90s. Jessie is unsympathetic to Camille, chalks it all up to "PC being PC" and is glad she wasn't at the party. They part.

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NYC Prep

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