NYPD Blue

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498 USERS: C+
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A Hole In Juan

At Maria's apartment, Sip and Ricky arrive to find the door chained. "Kick it in! But don't break the frame!" They do and find Romeo with his head in the oven. "He's trying to do this because of you!" Maria yells. Sip says, all pot-to-kettle, "Maybe it's because of your bossy mouth that he's trying to kill himself!" Score one for Sip. Maria pays no mind and says, "What about my possessions, Romeo? What would happen when you blew this place to smithereens?" Ricky drags Romeo to the window and he says he was scared that they would pin the murder on him, so he stuck his head in the oven. "Don't claim innocence yet!" yells Sip. They drag him out while Maria yells, "The reason you stuck your head in the oven is because you ain't got no sense of consideration! Don't go dying on me!" 'Cause she cares so much, don't you know.

After some establishing shots of the stationhouse, we see Kirky and Di hauling a hooker each up the steps. Gay John, tiptoeing down the stairs, sees them and looks alarmed. Rosanna yells, "Would you ask her the whereabouts of my baby at the present?" and Frankenhooker goes, "You got some nerve asking me some question like that!" They get Rosanna and Frankenhooker (whose name is Inez) into separate interrogation rooms and Gay John stares after Inez transfixed, like she's My First Tranny Hooker by Playskool or something.

In the little room, Rosanna is shifting and fidgeting around like any actor impersonating a crack ho would. "Bring me up here for some street fight. You can't get me on solicitation, I wasn't near no trick." Diane is all, "Is that why you think you're here? What's between you and Inez?" Rosanna says, "I don't know what's in no he-she-crazy-wacky-mind. I gave the bitch forty dollars to look after Tanya." Hey, Tanya is Ruth's unborn baby's name in the excellent movie Citizen Ruth! Save baby Tanya! Save baby Tanya! "When's the last time you saw your baby?" asks Di. Rosanna stops tossing her head and wiggling around for a second and says, "Four days ago. But I paid Inez to look after her! What the hell is going on?" Jumping right in, Diane says, "We found Tanya dead in a dumpster." Ugh. Rosanna starts to fake-cry and goes, "Why you telling me all cold like that that my baby's dead! Not me! It wasn't my fault! It must have been Inez!" Kirky asks, "Do you know Inez to have a violent temper?" Rosanna jumps at this: "Yeah! You saw her out on the street!" Kirky pulls the metaphorical rope, trapping Rosanna: "So why'd you leave her to watch your baby?" Rosanna starts to really cry now, all "I loved that baby!" boo hoo! Di and Kirky toss a notepad at her, saying "Account for your time over the last four days." Rosanna hesitates at first but then does, snuffling. Then Diane goes, hey, I really like that red halter-top you have on, where'd you get it? Just kidding.

NYPD Blue

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