NYPD Blue
A Hole In Juan

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A Hole In Juan

Whoosh! Credits! Wavy camera work! Bloosh!

Inside the station, Mary and Ricky are having a little stony-faced chat. I show more warmth to strangers on the street, but then I'm not a cop. She's talking to the captain about doing plainclothes work. What do you think about that? Ricky thinks it's a sure way to a shield, but it's not as rewarding as being a street cop. They have absolutely no expressions on their faces, but their shoulders are stooped from carrying the weight of the world. Then they get down to it: Mary says she hasn't "acted like a six-year-old in anyone's apartment" lately, and Ricky rushes to say how happy he was to have her in his apartment, period. A teeny tiny smile races across Mary's face and Danny looks less creased for a second. They say 'bye, after Ricky says "Tell me how it breaks."

Sip is on the phone, all aggressive-aggressive with the person on the other end. He's trying to find out why the van was outside the church. Meaning the opposite, Sip says he's "ashamed he disturbed them" from continuing their snoop, and then calls whomever it is a douchebag. Language! Whoop whoop! He then tells Ricky that they were watching Don, Kirky's "ex, her loser former spouse." Hee hee! Don appears on camera twice a week picking up packages from Air Peru at Kennedy. While I just assumed it was drugs, Sip starts on about what a "bag of crap" this is. I love this catchphrase. It's so evocative!

Diane comes in, and takes off her jacket to reveal a tank top. Can someone tell me why Sip and Ricky are wearing shirts with sleeves, and Mary was in a turtleneck, while Diane LIVES in tank tops? Maybe she runs hot. So Sip acts a little weird, and says, "Hey! Ho!" like he's in the Ramones, then he manages to get out that Kirky's loser ex is also a drug runner. Diane says, "That prick! That jerk!" Sip agrees, and since Diane was "counseling" Kirky on this very issue of her loser ex, would she be a doll and tell her about it? The "dildo" is "muling drugs," got it? Oh, and hold this bag of crap for me too. Thanks.

Kirky comes in, floating on a cloud. "Isn't it a great day?" she asks, before skipping off to get coffee. Sip, Ricky and Diane grunt tentatively but affirmatively. Diane slinks to the coffee room, all bearer-of-bad-news-y. Kirky is still glowing, "Don was great!" and without wasting any time, Diane smashes her down to earth with the news that Don is a mule. Kirky knew he was a jackass, but this is too much. She breaks down in tears. Diane is sorry and says so, but Kirky bitterly asks "Isn't a small part of you saying 'I told you so'?" Di is all, "No, not even a little part." A big part of me is yelling "Hey Kirky! You're taking your pain out on Diane! STOP IT!" Kirky, between tears, says, "I forgot, you're a saint. Sorry for being bitter -- one more human shortcoming." Hey, messenger-killer! YOU'RE the sucker here! Quit beating up on Diane! Diane's lips get all quivery and she says, "Thanks for sharing," before she stomps on out of there.

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NYPD Blue

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