NYPD Blue
A Hole In Juan

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A Hole In Juan

Sip, all concerned-like, asks, "How'd it go?" and Diane yells, "SCREW YOU!" He deserved that.

In cruises a parole officer, Peron, with his parolee, Romeo Rodriguez. It seems Romeo's been getting some heat from his old running buddies (Tybalt and Mercutio, right?) and, as he's recently been released from jail, he needs help to stay straight. He wants to go on record about some stuff. As this is explained to Sip and Ricky, Sip checks out the sniffles and hurt looks of both Kirky and Diane, noting that they're avoiding each other. Kirky throws a slip of paper on Gay John's desk, and says "lost time." Gay John looks around, like, uh-oh. Oh, office fights. Just wait until Ricky and Diane start getting it on; then there will be some real doozies. Extra-large bags of crap, you might say. Something to look forward to!

In the interrogation room, Romeo is all cholo-liscious in his wife-beater shirt as he explains what's going down -- that is, former thug life friends are trying to involve him in crimes again. "Threats don't intimidate me," he says. Sip says, "So you need to learn alternate techniques in threat management." Romeo says, "I'm taking direction! My goal is to stay straight...what am I supposed to do, live in my basement? So I play nine-ball." Romeo finally gets to the heart of it: "I'm a rage-a-holic! Psychiatrist-diagnosed! You disrespect me, I'm gonna react." There's something really irritating about a thug who uses psychiatry as a shield. Sip says, "As opposed to the rest of us who just sail along, devil-may-care. Then when they lock you up again, it's not your fault." Ricky says, "Show us you're really working on keeping your mind right." Romeo busts a blood vessel screaming, " I AM keeping my mind right!" Sure, you've got it all under control, dude. Ricky pushes him a pad and pen and the P.O. says, "Juan and Ricky -- write 'em down." Romeo, filled with rage, goes, "They won't get a collar, right? Cause I ain't no snitch!" Oh no, not you. You're a little wounded bird! Ricky says, "You're building muscles up to keep yourself outside." Strong teeth and bones, too!

After the commercials, Fancy cruises into the office. Gay John jumps a mile. Diane stomps in and asks, "How was Comstat?" Fancy says, "Nifty." I say, "Hidely-ho there, Ned Flanders! What have you done with the Lieutenant?" "Where's Jill?" Fancy asks. "She's on lost time," snaps Diane. "Does she need lost time?" asks Fancy, with a slight expression of concern on his face. Diane snaps again, "She probably NEEDS to catch the case." And runs out, grabbing a walkie-talkie. Gay John looks upset. Fancy asks where Sip and Ricky are and Gay John makes something up. Fancy, with his goofing-off radar in full effect, heads to the interrogation room and finds them in there, kicking back with the newspaper. Whoops! They both jump up and run out, with Sip asking lamely, "How was Comstat?" The boss comes home and finds all his people falling apart...oh, poor Fancy. Things are not so nifty today.

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