NYPD Blue
A Hole In Juan

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A Hole In Juan

In yet ANOTHER interrogation room, Diane and Kirky cruise in, releasing Hank the grim-faced cop from guarding Frankenhooker. He leaves, and Frankenhooker calls after him, "You kept looking, didn't you, big man?" Hookers always have to have the last word; that's a rule. "Harold Carmichael," says Diane, tossing Frankenhooker's file on the desk. "Just like the football player, but four inches shorter," screeches Frankenhooker. His voice is terrible. I wish I had captioning. He wants to be called Inez. Anyway, when asked why he was giving a beating to Rosanna, Inez screeches, "I was upset at her irresponsibility." Ah yes, crack hos usually maintain a very high standard of morals, and live an elevated life from the rest of us. Thank god we have shows like NYPD Blue to show us the truth, or else crack hos would surely be running the country and making it impossible for people to slack off in any way. Inez rattles on about how "that baby" was ten months old, and a gift from God, and that Rosanna said she would come back at 9 PM but didn't, and Inez had an appointment about something to do with her "feminine parts" on which she's already spent $23,000...Damn! You can go to fucking college on that money! And for $23,000, can't the doctors do something about that enormous, ugly head of yours? And how about your voice -- aren't there hormones for that? Hey, how do you make a hormone? Don't pay her. It's a joke, people. Anyway, after Rosanna didn't show to pick up that baby, Inez just put her back in her crib, in perfect health to boot. Hey, the REAL Frankenstein would have thrown the baby into the lake; I think baby Tanya did all right landing in the crib. But the crib was not her final destination, so back to the plot I go. Diane tells Frankenhooker that the baby was found dead in a dumpster. Frankenhooker asks twice, "What are you referring to?" before totally losing it. Diane spells it out, that after taking care of a baby for three days Frankenhooker might have gotten stir crazy and killed the baby. Frankenhooker screams, "It's dead! Quit referring to it!" Oh my god, say "referring" one more time, why don't you? Totally freaking and crying, Frankenhooker goes, "I did nothing of the kind! I would never! I love that baby! I have love in my heart! And so much pain!" On the "p" in pain, Frankenhooker TOTALLY sprays a huge amount of spit, which is picked up nicely by the natural light flooding the room. I thought the wavy camera work in this episode was minimal -- they're letting the actors do the work by having them spit and LEAVING it in for us at home. What a treat. I don't have to remind you, this show has grit.

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NYPD Blue

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