A huge shout-out to Wing Chun, for waiting so patiently for this very late recap, and to everyone on the boards for hanging in there and making this fun.
Warning: Expect foul language. There's no ass, goddammit.
I was wrong before: this is the longest "previously" ever on Blue. Previously on NYPD Blue, Denby discovers a charred, headless body in a dumpster and tells Di, "This has gotta be your partner's ex!" Di sees Denby and what looks like Don hanging out across the street from a coffee shop she's parked in; Di tells Sip she thinks she saw Don and Denby. She asks why, "If Don's alive wouldn't Denby cop to that?" Sip's eyes get all wide -- the very idea! -- and suggests maybe Don turned on Denby. Di asks Kirky how's it going without Don around. Instead of breaking into a song and dance à la Ally McBeal, Kirky gets all weepy and says, "It's an adjustment." Di does not say, "Duh." Di, in a bar with Denby, says, "I'll put a bullet in that brain you wasted." Not like a threat, like a promise. Don smiles. Oh boy.
Yay, its Theo! He and his dad, Sipowicz, are brushing their teethies in front of the bathroom sink. They share the mirror very well. Theo, adorable one, says, "Spit in there." Sip, killjoy, says no. Theo tries again: "Spit into the mirror!" Sip grumbles, "See, I do something once for you and you want me to do it all the time." What I wouldn't do to get my hands on a video if that. Patooie! They brush their little teethies and Theo spits. Sip says, "Let me see your lip." Theo gurgles, "Is it pale?" Sip mumbles, "No, it's purple, normally you're pale." He lets go of Theo's head and they brush, rinse and spit. Sip looks worried as hell.
Cut to Sip dressing Theo. Sip casually mentions that they'll be stopping at Dr. Chronic's before school. As Theo playfully wiggles around, Sip loses it and yells, "This is ENOUGH with this!" Theo, unflappable, says, "Okay, Dad!" Sip's got more, and snaps, "See, this is the smartass tone. I've asked you not to take a smartass tone with me." Hello, he's both four and your offspring, just how do you expect him to talk? Theo murmurs and lays his head on his father's chest. Sip realizes what an ass he was and says, "Sorry." Theo, in an amazing show of spirit, says, "Don't worry about nothing, Shirley Temple." Oh my god -- now we know he's his father's son. How many four-year-olds know who in hell Shirley Temple is?
Woosh! Bloosh! People all over the world! Join in! Get on board the season finale train! Finale train!