NYPD Blue
Daveless In New York

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Alex Richmond: B | Grade It Now!
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Blue is back, now with 75% more ass!

Sip's on the phone, sweet-talking some doctor into giving Theo a test now, "because he really is looking better." Mm-hmm. As he sweet-talks, he has a look on his face that would melt glass. I'm so scared of Sip. Ricky sits the bum down to look at photos and Sip barely blinks.

Medavoy, Baldwin, and the surviving fast food teen come in. Brown Suit Dude leaps up and says he wants to "huddle" before he and Medavoy meet with IAB. The screen says David Milch is still the "executive consultant." Whew. Medavoy is like, yeah, we caught a triple homicide, let me check with the boss, lawyer dude. Di and Ricky start to do a little police work about the dead fast food teens, then talk about something more interesting to Blue watchers: Sip's state of mind, and personal stuff. How is he today? Grumpy? Really? Oh. Bummed out about something? Noo. Sip? Yes, today, it's Theo. And you and Mary? How's that? Di tilts her head like she really, really cares and Ricky acts all bummed as he says, oh, it's not going so well. You two? Can just go do it already. Why, I can't even wait 'til the end of the episode to see you hop in bed together. You hear me? The end of the episode, I said. Di suggests they go to Vermont for a three-day weekend then Ricky says how about he and Di go to Vermont for a three-day weekend. I say, why don't the two of you go to Vermont for a three-day weekend and DO IT FOR ALL THREE DAYS? Then, go do it some more. Di makes a face and says don't joke like that. Ricky says he wasn't joking and Di primly files and pats her hair and says seriously, it makes her uncomfortable. Then her pants burst into flames, because she is LYING. She meant to say it makes her hot.

A clean-shaven Fancy summons Medavoy into his office. Medavoy wants to put off going to the IAB. No dice. Brown Suit Lawyer dude is Cohen, and they knew him before, when he worked at the D.A.'s office. He had a crush on Kirky, they say. Medavoy is all nervous about the "rat squad," then says "ANYWAYS, we got nuttin' to hide, right bass!" Fancy looks down and says they're expecting him in an hour. Dismissed.

The Blue cops are in a sidebar with Cohen. Sip grumbles about lawyers working for "the dark side, defending rapists" and I hear "dark side" and think of Glark's bastard Star Wars parodies. Sip, I am your father (breathing like Darth Vader). Sorry. So yeah, Sip grumps out but takes it back. Cohen recaps last season's highlights: Kirky's asshole loser ex took her kids hostage and that's why the Blue squad took down him and Denby. Plus, we saw Baldwin's ass. Well, Cohen doesn't mention it, but it certainly was a highlight. Oh my, yes. So IAB is going after Medavoy first because, in Sip's words, "he's the weak link." Medavoy lifts his head from his arms and takes some weak umbrage, and Sip amends that to "the least involved." Cohen strides out and Medavoy follows comically, then pivots and says, "Don't worry, they won't get squat outta me." Sip makes a Don Quixote comparison then says it was Kirky's "bad taste in men that got us in this," and oh my god, Sip is so Archie Bunker, blaming the woman. Di and Ricky give him a look and walk out, then Sip rolls his eyes so mightily and with such heft that I forgive him for being such a sexist bastard. Damn, that guy can roll his eyes.

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NYPD Blue

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