NYPD Blue

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: D | 397 USERS: C+
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Loogie Nights

Back in the office, Kirkendall sidles up to Diane's desk (where's she's rocking the tank top under her suit jacket, woo!) and says that her lousy ex is actually starting to look good again. He's picking the kids up on time, has a source of income; she thinks: Sounds great. Not. Diane looks incredulous and exchanges doubting looks with Gay John. Kirkendall says, "What can I do? He's the only one who makes me feel this," and she holds a fist up to her chest. What is that, exactly? Heartburn? Gas? An attack of some kind? It's a vague gesture that doesn't look good. "I think he deserves..." Diane leaps in with "A sixth chance?" Finally Kirkendall backs off, saying, "I guess I only wanted your opinion if it was the opinion I wanted you to have." Diane replies, "You don't have to make a logical case for being happy," but really, would Kirkendall be happy with that loser? NO. Kirkendall says wistfully, "It's not like we get that many times at bat," as I scream at my TV, "GO MEET SOMEONE ELSE AND BAT ANEW!" I do not understand people who keep going out with the same losers over and over again. Ricky comes in, gets news of a skel in the pokey with Andy, and "goes to take a piss." That seems like too much adult language for Diane, who virtually blanches. Kirkendall leaves, allowing Diane and Gay John to exchange more looks of the "I-can't-believe-her, what-the-hell-does-she-think-she's-doing" variety.

In the pokey, Jerry the skel is recounting the details the led up to the beating. He gets in a fight with his wife, the kids are crying, he goes to the bar to shoot some nine-ball, the guy he got in a fight with (nicknamed Poodle-Head Mikey!) owed him money, they go outside and are interrupted by Neil and Nazi-boy. The skel said he maybe "nicked Poodle-Head's lip" before the cops stepped in. It's not looking good for the cops right now. Hello, police brutality. Always uncool. After the cops ruined his street fight, the skel went home to make love to his wife (tenderly illustrated by the camera framing his fist making a pumping gesture). The wife will vouch for him because the sex was so amazing that "midway though, she woke up." Sipowicz and Ricky leave to barf, then confer. They need to talk to Poodle-Head. Gay John is checking on his status. He tiptoes over to Sipowicz with a message slip -- Poodle-Head is dead. Upgrade the beating to murder. Sipowicz snaps, "Thanks for the good news," and Gay John runs away, whispering "sorry." It's not your fault, John! So now they have to go back to the alley.

NYPD Blue

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