NYPD Blue
Lucky Luciano

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Alex Richmond: D | Grade It Now!
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Lucky Luciano

Di and Kirky convene in Fancy's office. The girl had come in to report her sister missing, who was then found dead, shot and stuffed in the trunk and sexually abused. The car was wiped clean of fingerprints. A stumper of a case. No leads. Except for this Marcus guy...

Kirky and Di knock knock knock on apartment 3-E. A black man answers. It's Marcus. Did he grab a girl's ass in a car wash three days ago? Uh, no, he sniffs. Three days ago he was in the hospital. He invites them in and resumes his spot in front of the TV. Kirky asks, "Wanna do us a solid? Come with us." Marcus doesn't know..."I was about to watch my show." Then later he's gonna post about it on the MBTV boards. Di asks, "Pretty please?" Marcus, sucker, agrees. I hope he has a VCR.

Gritty, gritty street scenes unfold like so much laundry: A bus, a man in a wheelchair, the station house. Ricky and Sip are talking to Cousin Ana. They tell her Frank has a good alibi, and does she think Luciano killed his wife. She's not talking. Ricky and Sip say they can take her reticence in a certain way and she says they can take it like that. Whatever.

Luciano thinks it was Frank. It wasn't, say Ricky and Sip. "Eef no Frank, who?" Sip says, "I dunno. Who would benefit from the will?" Luciano says, "Must be me. Aah! Please, I need to crap." Please, take this page of the script to wipe your ass with, Luciano.

Bathroom. Ally comes out of a stall, sees Ricky, Sip and Luciano, and runs back in to flush herself down the toilet. Fish uses his remote and the flush is successful. John just keeps peeing at the urinal. Luciano says, "When I got to crap, my brain goes away." Oh, boy. Luciano goes in a stall and Sip stage-whispers to Ricky, "This guy is as about as Italian as Chef Boy Ar Dee, and I'm about to do something about it." Wait -- The Chef is NOT Italian? Next thing you're going to tell me Velveeta isn't real cheese! John runs out of the bathroom. Sip goes, "The next time you hear that guy talk, it won't be in an Italian accent, and you can take that to the bank." Ricky leaves.

A hotsy-totsy Italian babe introduces herself to Ricky. She's Theresa the maid. She's Luciano's alibi. He was with her when the wife was murdered.

Sip KICKS the door with all his strength. Luciano lets loose with a torrent of -- eww, not that -- curses. In Italian. Out in the office Theresa says, "That's Luciano! Are they beating heem?"

Medavoy comes out of the next stall in a hurry and runs to the sink. Sip says, as sheepishly as he can, "When this guy is done, will you bring him out?" Medavoy says, "Sure, anything for you." Because it's all about Sip!

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NYPD Blue

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