NYPD Blue
Roll Out The Barrel

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Roll Out The Barrel

The funky funky keyboards take us to a snooty neighborhood (again!) with Greg and Baldwin on stakeout. There's some press lady there too that refused to leave when Greg asked her, so Baldwin decides to try. Greg says sagely, "The question is how much attention you wanna draw in the interest of keeping a low profile." Baldwin rolls his eyes in the shape of the word "duh." He jogs over to her car and places his hand on her window, with his badge in his palm. The reporter (Elizabeth Berkley, eww) looks over, and Billy Ocean's "Get Out of My Dreams, Get Into My Car" starts blasting. Elizabeth Berkley starts salivating. Baldwin gets in and Billy Ocean fades away, just like he did in real life. "This is great," she says. Sure, great for you - you've got a super hot guy in your car. Do you know how many people hate you right now? Baldwin says he doesn't "think they get many African-Americans around there that aren't wearing delivery uniforms." EB says, like a total snot, "If you want Pete McGreeney to find out he's being watched, you're giving him a total shortcut." Baldwin asks, "What's your name?" He does not, thank god, add "Who's your daddy?" It's Nicole. Just Nicole. Like Cher, or -- shudder -- Gallagher. Baldwin notes that Nicole is only one name, and EB says rudely, "I'm one ahead of you." Reporters: Hard-bitten snooty, disrespectful freaks obsessed with only on thing: Bylines. Or is that hot cops? Baldwin says who he is and that he needs her out of there. That makes two of us. EB, pain in the ass, says "That's not happening, Baldwin. I don't care if you get Puff Daddy to sit in the back seat, I'm the only reporter to figure this out and I'm gonna stay on his tail." Then - look out - two people come out of the house they're watching. Baldwin warns her not to look at them, and EB threatens that she's going to ram the car in front of them. What? WHY!? Baldwin takes her keys and then she threatens to lean on the horn. THAT MAKES NO SENSE! Then the people pull away and she says she's going to tail them better than Medavoy will. Baldwin, along for the ride, is driven away, and Medavoy has his Chinese Fire Drill-of-one as he runs around to the driver's side and lamely follows.

Ricky's on the phone, arranging for Dino to come down and rat...I mean testify against McGreeney. "Last time he was shooting blanks!" Then, to Sip, "Non-negotiable: Dino gets to throw a hump into his girlfriend if he comes down." Sip says, "Sure, tell him we'll provide the splint." Ricky continues, "Will he still have a conversation if he can't get it up?" John makes an eww face, so I don't have to say anything. Ricky says he'll reach out for the girlfriend and hangs up. Sip provides this pearl: "A friend of mine had problems after prostrate trouble, so the doc gave him some of that Viagra, and hoo hoo, you could have hung laundry off that guy." Ricky asks, "Who was this?" Sip clams up real fast. "Don't ask me to betray that confidence." Yeah, when I have sexual performance problems, I always tell a friend about it too, not.

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NYPD Blue

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