Roll Out The Barrel

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Roll Out The Barrel

Sip and Ricky are hanging out with the homeowner guy in his now tainted home. He doesn't want to leave. "You can't throw me out!" Sip growls, "Hard enough he'll bounce." Good one. Hello? It's an elderly couple, the owners before Pete McGreeney. Sip and Ricky introduce themselves, and the present owner says "I'm the present owner." NO ONE CARES. Sip shoos him away. They have a brief conversation: there was a body found in an oil drum, the body was known to the couple, the husband denies it and then he "has to urinate. Is that allowed?" Sure, that bathroom is in the same place. When he leaves the wife starts talking. "He was involved with her. Was there a baby inside of her?" BLAM! A gunshot is heard and the present home owner babbles, "Oh my god he shot himself he shot himself in the head." That's that. "Justice" is "served."

It's night. Baldwin meets Nicole outside the station house. Yes, the skank's still here. "It's ten minutes to seven, Baldwin." Oh, maybe you'd like him to type the story in for you, too? Baldwin tells her that the body in the oil drum was not Pete McGreeney's wife. "Oh great. That will buy me twelve lines on page four." Yes, reporters are this selfish all the time. Then, for whatever reason, Baldwin tells her about Pete McGreeney's wife allegedly being buried in New Jersey. Why, Baldwin, Why? Nicole says stupidly, "Oh my god. Why are you giving this to me?" From now on, I never want to hear Elizabeth Berkley utter the words "giving this to me" to, near or around Baldwin. Baldwin says because she cooperated. "You just lay it out right in front of you, don't you." Ditto this phrase, Elizabeth Berkley. Never utter it again. Baldwin says it's easier this way. EB says, and I could barely hear it over the screaming, "Would it be easier getting into bed with you if I told you I was a sister?" Baldwin makes a face (please be repulsed, please be repulsed), and asks, "Are you?" WRONG REPLY! The answer was "NO!" EB says, "Absolutely." There are no absolutes - now GO AWAY. Thank God Baldwin says, "That's not what it's about, Nicole." She replies, "I'd sure like to find out what it is about..." It's about him being a police officer and you being a brazen hussy! "...but not as much as I want to file on this story." Oh, career first, footsie with Baldwin second? You lose again. She saunters off, saying, "I'm calling you from the word processor to get those names!" Oh yes, don't write them down now - bother Baldwin some more, he doesn't mind. Baldwin says "take care," and sighs. Whew, you got away. Now let us never see Nicole ever again.

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