Warning: Adult language and a very, very brief glimpse of Baldwin's ass. Will it be worth the wait? You decide. It's at the very end of the episode. Just wait for it. Or rush right to the last paragraph. Either one.
Previously on NYPD Blue, Baldwin meets Nicole, the determined hussy -- I mean reporter -- staking out Pete McGreeney's house. Later, she clumsily attempts to seduce him, saying, "Would it be easier to get you into bed if I told you I was a sister?" You mean, lie? Sure, tell him you're gorgeous and talented too, maybe that'll work.
Boom boom go the drums, flap flap go the gritty gritty pigeons, and we land in the weight room in the station house. There's Baldwin pumping um, iron. In sashays stupid Nicole. "I should have known you were telling the truth about working out before your shift starts. And here I am just getting home." Ugh, you smell. She sits next to him on the weight bench and they don't look at each other. "Someone does me a favor, and I'm not comfortable unless I go to bed with them." Well, then that makes you a slut, right? Or at the very least, slutty. Baldwin's not interested in not-nice girls. Now leave. Baldwin makes a shocked-face and says, "It's nice to know there are still grateful journalists out there." Yeah, yeah. The Pete McGreeney story was the biggest in Nicole's career, and she's grateful, AND she wants to do Baldwin. "You're offering me thank-you sex after you've been out all night working on a story, more or less?" SAY NO, Baldwin. Here on the boards there are plenty of people willing to do you just for being YOU. Stupid Nicole says, "I told you I was a sister to make you happy - do you want me to tell you I'm a virgin too?" I hate Nicole. Baldwin's beeper goes off and Nicole starts singing the theme song to Saved By The Bell. Loser. Baldwin says, "Wanna hear something weird? I LIKE YOU." Oh, no, no, NO! You can't, you mustn't! Don't get naked with this skeezer! He offers to call her and get dinner and Nicole closes her legs and sits up, muttering, "That's one way to go about it. Cool." Baldwin says, "Bet." She moves to touch him but he gets up and she only touches air. Let's hope the scene-with-nudity goes the same way. As Baldwin walks out of the weight room Nicole yells, "Do you thank God every day for the way you look?" What a terrible line. May I suggest a few? How about, "Are those space pants you're wearing? Because your ass looks out of this world." There's also, "Are you as beautiful as you look?" A stumper, because it's about INNER beauty, see? Makes you think. Baldwin says in retort, "I thank Him everyday I wake up." Yeah, you godless hussy! I hate Nicole.