In an interrogation room, Ricky and Sip are laying into Tommy. Not like that. Tommy says he's "Not guilty," and that all the evidence is "circumstantial." Then there's a bunch of talk like "play for the other squad" and "you hide among fruits" and a bunch of double-talk like "you never pitched into the mitt," and finally Tommy goes, "So if you found me in an automobile assembly plant, you would accuse me of being a car?" Then Sip says if Tommy touched the guy's "po-po" he must be gay, and to touch it he would have had to hike up the DOA's big belly, and Tommy said he "didn't touch po-po!" and I have NEVER heard of the phrase "po-po" in my LIFE and I WENT to grade school in New York, so PLEASE. Finally Ricky asks Tommy if he was "commercially motivated" to be a gay prostitute, and Tommy says that he was. Tommy describes his credo of prostitutin': "I will screw your ass, I will spank you, you can lick my feet, but do NOT try kissing me." That seems reasonable. Hookers have rules, you know. Then Ricky asks if Tommy told the DOA that, and yeah, he did, but when he was cleaning up, the guy snuck up behind him and "stuck his dirty, fat, wet tongue in [Tommy's] mouth." Ricky goes, "Whoa," and Tommy goes, "What would YOU do?" Sip answers, "Say no more." Tommy makes a little hiss and I cannot BELIEVE the homophobia on this show.
Jason comes skulking into the precinct and sees Martinez. "Can we have a man-to-man talk?" he asks. Mano y mano? Si! Martinez is happy to. "I did something bad," Jason sniffles. Wow, I though white liberal guilt was bad -- nothing compared to Jason's! As he wipes his eyes, Martinez starts doing an invisible "yessss!" dance, reassuring Jason that he won't get locked up. Between sniffs and snuffs, Jason totally spills it: "I'm having relations with Miss Peters. We were going to go to New Mexico. I don't wanna go! And I never wanted to have relations! I'm not as special as Miss Peters thinks I am." Aww. Martinez promises that, in front of this witness (Gay John, who else?), everything is going to be all right. Martinez goes to get a confession from Jason, and Di and Kirky roll up, just in time to go fetch the lecherous Miss Peters. "Can't I just write her a letter?" asks Jason. Like, Dear Miss Peters, please stop molesting me. It's warping my fragile little mind. Love, Jason.