This Old Spouse

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: D | Grade It Now!
Did Don Die or didn't he?

Ricky and Sip are in the bathroom, washing up. Ally hands them each a towel. They talk about their crack-smoking, gas-station robbing couple and note she's 15 years older then he is. Ricky asks, "You think that means something?" Sip says he'll go at him that way. "Maybe he's a mama's boy." They burst into the pokey and Joey the skel looks skyward, complaining weakly. "This is bogus...calling me a monkey...I can take a beating." Sip says he'd love to deliver one. Ricky asks about the post-robbery cutting, "that's what my partner doesn't understand." Joey the skel says, "Your partner has a sadistic streak of sadism." BA HA HA! Is it sadistic of me to find that funny? I must have a real sadistic streak of sadism then. Sip goes, "Sure, make me the issue. That guy you cut can't use his hand anymore, and him being a towel-head makes that a hate crime. But you cry about me." It's all about you, Sip! Learn it, live it. Ricky says, "That's twenty-five years, without extenuating circumstances." Sip goes, "Here we go with the extenuating circumstances, oh boo hoo." Joey Skelly yells, "Sick sadistic bastard! Did your dad ever burn you with cigarettes?" Ricky asks if that's why he robbed six gas stations. "Ever have an addictive drug problem?" Sip has, and he "held an honest job." Ricky says again, "I'm trying to understand the cutting." Joey Skelly loses it: "You don't understand nothin'! The difference between crack and booze! Here!" He gets up and lifts up his shirt, showing his scarred back. "He burned me and he cut me! All right!" Sip and Ricky make calm-down noises. Joey Skelly breaks down. "You sick sadistic bastard, boo hoo!" Oy.

Di meets Denby outside. He goes, "I like to think of this as our spot." She says, "You don't let a day go by, do you." What? "Without you looking bagged." He goes, "A day without getting loaded is a day wasted." Wow, remind me to get that embroidered on a pillow sometime. They pass on the small talk, Denby makes a big show of spitting out a mint - Patooie! - and he says he saw her outside the diner. Di loses her patience and asks if he knows how stupid this conversation sounds. Imagine writing it down! Now that's stupid. Denby says he liked it when Di watched him drink and she leaves him in disgust. He goes, and Baldwin stealthily follows. I love it when Baldwin's around, but it's also nice to see him leave, if you know what I mean.

Di bursts back into the office and yells, "What an asshole. Coffee?" Sip gets glowerly until John recognizes that that's his cue to leave. "May I feed your fish?" Sip says yeah, but "be careful!" Di tells Sip that Denby knows she knows something. Sip suggests that maybe Denby is working with Don now. Di goes, "Oh god! Oh god!" In walks Kirky. What's the matter? On the spot, Di and Sip make up a fake story about her cousin getting a speeding ticket that the trooper wouldn't take back. What a jerk, ANYWAYS. Di whispers to Sip that Baldwin's following Denby and that it's too soon to tell Kirky. Sip, as a nod to the late twentieth century, says, "Duh." Di says she'll tell Ricky now.

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