Off the Map

Episode Report Card
Joe R: B- | Grade It Now!
127 Hours (Part 1 of 127)

Zee bids Angus adieu. He gives her one last lustful look, then tells her if she ever wanted to grab onto him and beg him not to leave, now would be the time. She tells him to go. There's no telling if they'd even be good together anyway. Angus puts his face good and close to hers: "I think we'd do just fine." They arch towards a kiss for a billion years before she awkwardly puts her hand on the back of her neck, breaking the spell. I'll say this: I have never given a second thought to Valerie Cruz as an actress, but she's made me a believer more than a couple times on this show so far. She watches Angus's taxi take him away.

Cole is in his usual sittin' chair, sucking on a lollipop, hat over his face as usual, when Mina comes skittering up to him. She tells him to keep the hat where it is, as it's easier this way. She embarks upon a monologue that basically says that she's not a hugger or a hand-holder, not even as far back as her childhood. The jerks in her residency called her "ice queen" and "cadaver." She's not like that with boyfriends, even. So holding his hand the other day ... "It didn't mean nothing. It meant something." Even with his hat over his face, you can tell Cole is arching an eyebrow. Mina skitters off before he can respond further. Damn it, show, what did I say about not putting these two together?

At the cantina, Plastics writes a quick "I'm here" note on the back of the photograph of him with the Beach Soccer Players, then sticks it into an envelope addressed to his parents. Aw. He drops it in the mail slot that in conveniently located across the patio, then returns to Lily, Mina, and Charlie, who are all toasting to celibacy. Apparently, says Lily, living in a Spanish soap opera is a little humiliating. So was Mina's hat conversation. Nobody knows what she means by that. Suddenly, Alma taps Plastics on the shoulder. He asks after her novio, and she says he's fine. Then, after Charlie refuses to translate Plastics' offer to help anyone else whose penises need fixing, Alma says she and her novio are kaputski. Though she doesn't put it quite that way. Charlie continues to translate as Alma offers to buy Plastics a drink for helping Elan. He thanks her for the offer but says he just wants to focus on his medicine right now. She walks away sadly, at which point Lily and Mina savagely turn on Plastics for his stupidity, celibacy toast be damned. So he hops back over to Alma and plants a completely awkward kiss on her. Which is better than a whole lot of awkward talking, so there's that.

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Off the Map




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