Off the Map

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Joe R: B- | Grade It Now!
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127 Hours (Part 1 of 127)

Under the surface, the vaguely threatening marine life look on as Ben and Clark try to communicate with the daughter, Shannon. She writes on the whiteboard that it hurts to breathe, but Clark checks her tank and notes that there's plenty of air. Shannon begins to go into distress, and Ben deduces that she's got a collapsed lung and she needs to get to the surface ASAP. Don't just float there, manta rays, DO SOMETHING.

Back at the clinic, Zee tells Angus that the splotches on his chest aren't a rash but rather abscesses that need to be drained. Strangely, he still manages to pull off sexy even with oozing pustules on his chest. Hey, you take what you can get in the jungle. Anyway, he's haranguing Zee about choosing Cole for a boyfriend (she disputes that he's her "boyfriend" and says they're still in the early stages), pinpointing on the man's lack of intimacy or (he guesses) interest in anything personal about Zee. He tells her to ask Cole something personal about herself -- something a man who cared about her should know -- and see if he can come up with an answer. Zee shoves Angus back down and says he sounds like her mother. And then, in a method of shutting someone up that I admit I have yet to try, she pulls a disgusting larva out of his chest. Apparently some insect LAID EGGS IN HIS SKIN. So gross. She says she'll have to put him under so she can dig the rest of them out, but he objects and says he needs to get back into the field today. So she offers to "draw them out," to which he sexily (again, I don't know how a man who is currently a spring-break hot spot for coed larvae can pull this off, but it's happening) calls her "doctora" and says it sounds like a better option. She whispers back that she hasn't yet told him how she plans to extract them. More sexy talk about unsexy things to come!

Lily's walking with a patient whose wrist she just bandaged and attempting to Esperanto her way through his care requirements. It's a wonder 90% of these people don't die within hours of leaving the clinic given how many of them get mangled after-care instructions. Lucky for Lily, Mateo is lurking around a corner, and he helpfully clarifies to the patient that Lily means "dry with the gauze" not "marry the gauze." She laughs the conspicuous laugh of someone who just heard a total hottie say something vaguely amusing, then asks Mateo what he's doing here. Well he came to see her, of course! And also, he's been shot in the gut. At this, he collapses. It's weird, second dates are usually less awkward than the first.

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Off the Map

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