Off the Map

Episode Report Card
Joe R: B- | Grade It Now!
127 Hours (Part 1 of 127)

Lily's at Mateo's bedside when he wakes up, and she brushes away his attempt to take her hand in gratitude. She tells him about the bullet and clinic policy and the call to the police, so Mateo pulls off his tubes and gets to steppin'. Lily's all, "But the hole we just cut into your abdomen..." And he's all, "Ay, mira! The police, they cannot find me here. I am a wanted caballero!" She lets him get past her, then lays on the guilt trip, asking if he's going to leave without so much as an explanation for the audience at home? I mean, her? It looks for a second that Mateo's going to do just that ... until the Spanish guitar kicks in. And he turns and looks at her with smoldering eyes. And then grabs her face and kisses her. And writes her a poem which he then seals up in a bottle and throws into the sea, that his love may return to her one day even if he does not. Maybe not that one. But seriously, this is some serious Latin Lover stuff right here. And then, in a genuinely funny moment, Mateo walks right back into the exam room because he's bleeding again.

The doctors rush Shannon and her dad into the clinic on stretchers, Dad shouting to Shannon that he will find her the best prosthetic money can buy, don't worry. Cut to Ben and Clark having just patched up Shannon's lung, while Plastics puts the finishing touches on her leg. He asks if she'd like to have a look at it, but her eyes remain trained on the ceiling. Plastics explains that the theory is that the sooner amputees look at their ... stump? Adjusted appendage? Whatever, the sooner they see it and accept it, the better, and the more normal they'll feel. Shannon doesn't budge, though. She says she lost her leg "because Nick made me go on this stupid trip. It's not normal and it's never gonna be."

Elsewhere, Cole and Ben examine the telltale bullet from Mateo's gut and discuss the implications, while Clark sits off to the side and coughs some more. How many red flags do you fools need? Clearly she has lung cancer or a defective heart or something. Consumption! Oh it's been so long since someone on TV or in movies has had consumption! Ben finally twigs to her distress, and while she once again tries to brush it off, once she starts spitting up some gross shit, Ben and Cole both spring into action. The bends? Possibly! Let's get her in an oxygen chamber!

The pharmacy. Mina tells Lily that Dr. Ben is looking for her, but Lily has no time right now, what with her patient ("who's probably a serial killer") kissing her and then popping his stitches. Mina, because we love her, is like, "Awesome!" Plastics has a laugh at the un-smoothness of bleeding your way through a makeout session, and Mina asks when Lily's life became a Spanish soap opera. About three paragraphs north, hon. Lily grumbles that they're no help at all and storms off. Plastics opines that celibacy would have solved this problem. Well, presumably not the part where Mateo got shot. (But then, who knows?)

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Off the Map




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