Off the Map

Episode Report Card
Joe R: C | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
You Put the IV Line in the Coconut

Tommy ambles on out of the clinic puzzling over a map. Silly Tommy. Don't you know we're OFF THE MAP? A local kid named Charlie tells him he must've pissed off Dr. Cole something serious if he's being sent out on a house call on his first day, but Tommy maintains that this is a vote of confidence in him. Charlie tells Tommy he'll need his services as translator, especially once he tells Tommy he's "trece" years old and Tommy has no earthly idea what that means. Tommy isn't about to bring a little kid into a TB-infected village, but he relents when Charlie explains the trek to the remote village is a bitch. You guys, I'm super glad the show's giving us a cute kid as a way to win our support for the native population. Kind of like the Ewoks in Return of the Jedi.

Zee finds Lily and Mina and is haranguing them about her 40 patients and being short a doctor (Twilighty cab-stealer from earlier) when Dr. Ben interjects his fine self with news that there's an emergency out in the jungle. Both Mina and Lily jump at the chance, but it's Lily and her already-packed trauma kit that get the nod. Mina gets a handful of charts as consolation prize. Meanwhile, it should surprise you to the degree of zero that Dr. Ben gets around on a motorcycle and that Lily hesitates to grab him around his waist until he tells her to. What it lacks in originality it makes up for in its evocative portrait of grabbing Martin Henderson around the waist.

Otis finds Mina in an exam room, knuckle-deep in some poor man's butthole, not to put too fine a point on it. The patient presented with limb stiffness and numbness, and Mina still hasn't been able to rule out hemorrhagic fever. Otis grabs a bottle of ibuprofen and sends the violated man along his way. He explains to Mina that sometimes it's not hemorrhagic fever, sometimes it's just tennis elbow. Mina's incredulous that in one of the world's hottest spots for infectious disease (her specialty, you'll recall), one could get tennis elbow. She pauses, then gets a flash: "Oh, because of a machete?" Heh. Otis condescendingly tells her no, because of tennis. Oh, sorry, after ten minutes of "You're not in Kansas anymore" pontificating from these doctors she's supposed to feel shamed that she assumed nobody plays tennis in the middle of the rainforest. This show should be called White Guilt Volleyball.

Tommy's still following Charlie, as their trek leads them down a hillside towards the water. Tommy is hardcore whining about how exhausted he is. "This is why Americans are fat and lazy," Charlie lectures. "Because you drive everywhere." Oh, Charlie's gonna be a peach, I can tell. They finally make it to TB village, where they find a man and his two daughters hacking and wheezing, in seriously rough shape. Tommy is alarmed that the daughters are now sick and asks (via Charlie) which family member was Dr. Cole treating. The husband points to a sheeted-off area where his esposa lies dead in her bed. Well this is discouraging.

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Off the Map

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