Off the Map

Episode Report Card
Joe R: C | 1 USERS: A+
You Put the IV Line in the Coconut

Later, Lily stops in to check on Ed, and they chat for a bit about how he brought his wife on the trip with him -- her ashes, of course. He wanted to take her to Lago de Luz, also known as the firefly lake. Apparently at night it lights up like there are thousands of fireflies below the surface. "That's where you're going to say goodbye," Lily says. "That was the plan," says Ed. "Life sure has a way of changing your plans." This all looks like it's resonating for Lily, with regard to her particular emotional trauma. I guess if Grey's Anatomy is anything to go by, we can expect most of these medical cases to resonate with the doctors' particular emotional traumas. Lily ends up staying the night by Ed's bedside, falling asleep in the chair next to his bed. Soon enough, it's morning, and Lily is jolted awake by Ed's monitor blaring. She sees Ed going into some kind of arrest, and then she checks his abdomen ... which is crazy black and blue. More black than blue.

Off in the hills, Tommy is, true to Otis's orders, hiking back to TB Village, Charlie once again as his adorable moppet guide. Tommy says that his strategy will be much the same as it was yesterday, only now he's going to "turn on the charm." Charlie wonders what the plan will be tomorrow.

Ed's in surgery, with Ben, Lily, Otis, and Zee all getting a look at the inside of his mangled abdomen. It's definitely more than just the spleen that's been affected. He starts to bleed out, and Otis tells Ben that they don't have more than one packet of AB-negative blood (they're always short on the rare blood types). Ben instructs Otis and Zee to clamp this and work on that, then he grabs Lily and hauls off for the most ridiculous shit I have ever seen. I mean, "an unknown mission."

Mina checks on her charts and sees Old Lady Chest Cold is still sitting on the same bench she was last night. Mina's too busy rolling her eyes at the stupid old lady who won't just go home to notice that she's wheezing and about to keel over. Once she does, the lady is already on the floor. Mina calls for epinephrine and starts doing chest compressions. This is what happens when you scowl at old ladies, people! They die!

So Dr. Ben and Lily are in the jungle, looking for coconuts so they can use the water in them in place of blood for Ed's transfusions. I AM COMPLETELY SERIOUS. To her credit, Lily thinks this is flatly insane. But Dr. Ben drops some knowledge about how coconut water has the same electrolyte balance as blood plasma, and this totally worked in WWII, and besides, he's already done this one whole time before. Um...okay! This is certainly going to make me feel better about myself next time I'm at brunch and I start saying that my blood is 50% piƱa colada right now. Dr. Ben of course climbs right up the tree (we've already covered motorcycle riding and tree climbing this week -- the show had better pace itself before we get to the vine-swinging and killing boars with his bare hands). He tells Lily she has to catch these -- they're unsterile if they break, and if they hit her on the head, she's probably dead. Because all those Warner Bros. cartoons you watched as a kid were a pack of lies. Lily catches the first, then prepares for number two.

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Off the Map




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