Off the Map

Episode Report Card
Joe R: C- | Grade It Now!
My Anaconda Don't Want None Unless You Got Respect for the Locals, Hon'

We jump right back to the jungle, though, where I should mention that Snake-Bair is being played by Adam Campbell, who I remember incredibly fondly from that ridiculous summer mystery show Harper's Island. Yappy GF notes that when she saw the snake coiling, she shoved their tripod in between it and her man, which Ben says likely saved his life. Snake-Bait, who is pained but conscious, calls her his "good luck charm." The doctors puzzle over how to proceed, since it'd take a dozen of them to break the snake's grip. Lily suggests sedating it, and Zee thinks a big ol' dose of ketamine would do the trick. (That's what she said? ...To her gay raver pal?) Ben compliments Lily on the quick thinking.

A young man carrying crudely-made wind chimes scrambles up to the clinic and approaches Mina with a "por favor." Mina, not speaking any Spanish, thinks he's trying to sell his trinkets, but she hears "inferma," which she knows means "sick." Dr. Clark soon shows up and tells Mina he's offering the chimes as payment since he has no money. "His sister is home, very sick with fever and cough," Clark translates. He asks for "agua," which Mina does understand, and she defensively tells Clark she's got it from here.

Plastics, meanwhile, is trying to convince Dr. Cole that he deserves another chance, after last week's unfortunate "leave the family to die of TB" incident. He stresses that he's a good doctor -- a great doctor -- if Cole would just give him a chance. Cole instead hands him a sheet of directions for digging a latrine, for a new community that recently cropped up nearby. Cole says it'll help stop the cycle of disease, because it'll mean they won't be contaminating their drinking water, but honestly? Someone else could dig a latrine. This is a punishment. But no matter how many times Plastics says,"I'm a DOC-TOR!" like he's trying to get past a bouncer at a club, Cole's not budging.

Cole then comes upon Mina packing up for her first house call. Because she's Mina, she's packing up haz-mat masks and otherwise preparing for some exotic strain of infectious disease ("maybe the first South American outbreak of SARS!"). Cole grabs the standard house-call kit, with a BP cuff, IV line, and antibiotics. That's all. "If you find yourself in a hot zone," he snarks, "call me. I'll let you wear the funny hat." He also tells her to take Dr. Clark with her, since he's had it with newbies going out into the field solo.

Jungle. Lily's preparing to inject the sedative, which Snake-Bait is eagerly awaiting, since he's really starting to hurt, especially around his waist. Ben moves to examine his hip, but when he touches it, Snake-Bait screams out in pain. Ben yells out for Lily to hold off on the sedative. It looks like Snake-Bait's pelvis is totally shattered but the snake is the only thing holding him together. He needs the snake to stay alive. And thus ends the origin story of the famous comic book supervillain The Serpent Girdle. Looks like they're going to have to transport Snake-Bait with the Anaconda.

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Off the Map




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