Firstly, this episode aired on my nephew Kevin's birthday, so happy birthday to him! He'll be delighted to know that, according to HBO, this episode features graphic violence, brief nudity, adult content, and adult language. Which means he won't even be allowed to read the recap for, like, twenty years. Sorry, kiddo.
Previously: Ben found the Usher's card. Sadly, it wasn't a business card, or we could probably wrap this up in an hour. Justin preyed, Celeste prayed, and Ben went to a family reunion.
Credits. Okay, I guess I'll start to share. You know the triangles in the show's logo? Ideally they'd be equilateral triangles, but I'm just going to overlook that and assume they wanted it to look pretty. The triangle with its base down is the alchemical symbol for fire, and is associated with male and positive aspects. That's the one the moon and star are in. The triangle with the point down means water and is associated with feminine, negative aspects; that's the one with the sun. Please note that negative doesn't mean "bad." That's the one the moon and star are in. The triangle with the point down means fire, and is similarly associated with male and positive aspects; that's the one with the sun. Think of them as a more angular yin-yang. If you superimpose one triangle on top of the other you get a hexagram. These symbols are associated with the Templars and Freemasons, naturally. Although hexagrams are associated with pretty much any group that someone wants to claim is Satanic. And this is why I'm still resisting the idea that light and dark necessarily equate to good and evil.
We open at Casa de Creepy. Balthus is lying in bed. He stares up at a stain on the ceiling above him. The stain resembles a beast's head in profile -- I'd go with "dragon," myself, but a wolf works too. We can hear a a bed creaking upstairs, and a woman crying out. At first, they might be the happy kind of shrieks, but pretty soon, yikes. Balthus stares upward. And then there are rumbling growls mixed in with the noises from upstairs. Balthus begins shaking his right arm, and manages to thump it against the bed as the woman upstairs shrieks.
Morning already. How time flies. Ben is led through the woods by his new best friends, who have tied his hands together as a gesture of goodwill. Maybe they don't want him accidentally healing anyone of their fucked-up-ness. Ben asks where they're going. Dennis replies by punching Ben in the gut, and insisting, "We should have left him in the ground. She never would have known." Bluto tosses Dennis away and says that "she" would have seen what was happening. Ben asks if they're taking him to the Crone. Jason Lee, the monkey perched on his shoulder, suggests that addressing her as "The Crone" is a bad idea. Ben asks what her name is, and Dennis rushes back over, holds Ben's face against his crotch as he, er, thrusts, and says, "Fuck your mouth, that's her name!" So, Kevin, what's it like in the year 2024? I hope you enjoy being able to download these recaps directly into your brain. Bluto hauls Dennis away from Ben again and gasps, "Are you trying to get us killed?" Bluto helps Ben up, and my favorite part is that Bluto apologetically tries to brush the dirt off of Ben's clothes. Like that's even possible. I think the dirt is the only thing holding his clothes together at this point. Ben tells Dennis, "I'll kill you for that." Dennis smirks, and they move on.