Okay, thanks to my lame-ass ABC affiliate, I missed the bit of the show. Our very own JohnConstantine has been kind enough to save my ass by providing an excellent blow-by-blow of the early action. Here goes.
We start the new season with Lily very carefully counting out six plates from the cabinet. Cut to B&W Lily on the Soliloquy Stool, explaining that they always warn you to be careful what you wish for. We all pause in shock when she claims she hasn't always. Been careful, she's careful to note. B&W Lily claims this is pretty radical for her, then stands serenely at the counter wondering how she got so lucky, as her newly expanded family starts streaming into the kitchen, accelerated by the joys of camera trickery. (I can't decide if they've inserted Lily digitally or not. She's not saying anything, but she's also not as twitchy as they usually are in time-stop photography. Oh, who cares.)
Breakfast begins as Lily tries making eggs for a bunch of folks who show absolutely no interest in them at all. Rick banters with Lily over the lack of cream cheese, as Jessie neatly dodges being saddled with one of the eggs.
The morning bicker begins when Grace asks Zoe what her posters are doing out in the hallway. The fight over room space begins between Jessie and Zoe, and you can already see Jessie clenching her teeth at the "perfect and innocent" tone Zoe has down to a science. Someone shoot her now, please. (Okay, this is where my affiliate finally got their shit together. Thanks, JohnConstantine!)
Judy bursts into the fray through the back door, hoisting a paper bag above her head and proclaiming, "We have bagels!" "But no cream cheese?" Rick gripes from beneath his new mop of hair. Looks like he and Lily installed a low-flow shower head in their bathroom. It's not pretty. Judy's confused -- Lily "always has cream cheese." Across the kitchen, Jessie and Zoe battle on, bitching about drawer allotments, while Grace sits between them, determinedly chewing her breakfast. Lily plunks more food on the table and begs them to talk about it later. She's wearing the first of many pseudo-retro fake-business-flaunting shirts. This one is pink with the sleeves cut off, and in gold lettering advertises "Pedro's Pizza Parlor." It's trying too hard. Zoe slams her silverware down and pops out of her seat, gritting, "Fine! She can have the whole room!" She storms out. Rick peers at the action from under his lank bangs and mutters, "Whoa!" With that hair, the lame Keanu-like utterance seems somehow appropriate. Everyone lets Zoe leave to her to have her tantrum elsewhere in the house. Judy shares some exciting news, somewhat bashfully. A guy who owns three bookstores in Boston called her after reading about Booklovers, and he wants to license the name. "To do what?" Lily asks. Judy explains that he wants to do the same kind of singles club at his stores, and he's going to pay her "real money" to do it. "Go Judy!" Grace says with a playful tap on the arm. Lily says, "That's so amazing! Boy, I got out just in time, didn't I?" Judy says she can come back "any time." Grace prods Rick to drive them to school, and the round-up begins. He asks Jessie if she's seen Eli this morning. "That's amusing," Grace mutters sarcastically. "Yeah, he usually comes down about noon," Jessie says. Rick and Judy exchange a look, but it seems like the editors cut it short for some reason. Zoe and Jessie almost bump bellies in their scramble for the door, and they shoot one another nasty looks. As everybody files out, Lily mocks, "Goodbye Zoe. 'Goodbye Mom!' Goodbye Grace. Goodbye Jessie!" Rick leans in, and Lily grabs his face to kiss him. He really needs to wash that hair. Once they're gone, Lily looks dejectedly into her frying pan full of rejected eggs. "Want five eggs?" she asks Judy. Not likely.
Cut to Lily, clad only in a towel and with her hair slicked back, heading into the hallway with a shirt in hand. She almost collides with Eli, who's sporting only a pair of boxers. "I thought you were sleeping," Lily says, uncomfortably. Eli stammers, "Did everybody...?" "Yeah, about half an hour ago," Lily says. She turns her attention to another semi-naked young man, who's emerged from Eli's attic. Well, well, isn't that cozy. Eli makes the introductions. Lily asks how late they practiced until the night before. Let's make sure everyone is clear: she's standing in the hallway, wrapped in a towel, making small talk with two half-dressed eighteen-year-old boys. Yeah, it's odd. The conversation soon falters, and they stand awkwardly for a split second. Lily makes a gesture like she's parting the Red Sea, and Coop and Eli move to let her pass. Coop stares after her pointedly, hormones raging. "Dude, that's your stepmom? Oh, my god!" he says. Eli grabs him by the shoulder and leads him away like a cop at a crime scene moving along the looky-loos.