Soliloquy Rick tries not to pee his pants in terror. I'm not sure he succeeds. "Uh..." he finally stammers.
Rick hedges that he thinks they should "think about it." "About having one?" Lily asks, sounding surprised. "Well, I think we should think about thinking about it," Rick says.
"He doesn't want another kid," Soliloquy Lily interprets for us. Which is helpful, because Rick's burning enthusiasm really had me convinced otherwise.
Rick turns the question back on Lily, but before she can answer, there's a knock at the door. Lily and Rick scramble to shove the gifts under the blanket, warning the kids not to come in yet. Zoe enters and informs them that she can't find the good ornaments. Grace and Jessie are right behind her, Grace piping up that the decorations must be at Jake's. Zoe asks Jessie, "Did you guys come with ornaments?" "Like divorced-family action figures?" Jessie asks. Heh. Lily merrily suggests they make ornaments using popcorn and cranberries. Grace snots, "Since when would we have popcorn and cranberries?" Jessie and Zoe take advantage of the parental distraction, and make a dive for the gifts. Lily guards the stash, squealing and shooing the kids out of the room. Zoe makes one desperate, last-ditch attempt, but Rick scoops her up and carries her out, tickling her all the way.
In what has to be the strangest segue ever, we cut to Rick shaking the dew off the old Yule log and flushing the toilet. They're just keeping it real, I guess. As he rinses his hands, he calls out that he can't wait to open his Christmas present. Lily says she hopes he'll like it. He wanders into the bedroom and asks what she got him, but she refuses to spill it. He pulls her onto the bed and starts snuffling the back of her neck to wear down her defenses. After a second or two, she says, "You don't want to have another kid." She rhymes off a few reasons against it: sleepless nights, dirty diapers, and strollers. I'm sold. Rick asks how she feels about it. She gets up, saying, "I don't even know if I can still get pregnant. I'm not twenty-five anymore." She bends to touch her toes, and Rick growls, "You look like you're twenty-five." Lily looks up and coos, "Maybe you could get an early Christmas present." She lifts his t-shirt and starts planting kisses all over his stomach, but just as things get hot, she bolts up with a frantic, "Oh my god!" It's not because of belly-button lint, which was my first thought. It's because her doctor wants her off the Pill, and she just remembered that she hasn't been on it for three days. Rick wonders what they'll use now. Lily takes a seat up at the head of the bed, and says she could go back to a diaphragm. "So much for spontaneity," she laments. Rick prowls up the bed and starts nibbling her neck, asking if she happens to have one lying around at the moment. Lily giggles and says maybe they "could just have another kid." Rick lifts his face from her throat and cautiously says, "All right."