Cut to Lily's fingers on the keyboard, typing up a revised version of her résumé. The camera zooms in so we can see that she's fraudulently claiming to have graduated with a B.A. with Honors from Northwestern. Man, that pisses me off. B.A.s are cheap enough without people who don't even have them laying claim. She's also listed her position at PagesAlive as "assistant editor" rather than "editorial assistant," and describes a whole pile of work I never saw her doing, such as editing "written material" for "style, punctuation, and content" and "maintaining publication schedules." Jesus, Crusty wouldn't even listen to her ideas until the very end of last season, and even then it was only grudgingly. Lily seems to have gotten comfortable with the lying awfully quick.
Judy slips into the bedroom behind her and sees the résumé on-screen. "You're redoing your résumé?" she asks, disappointed. If by "redoing" she means "making up," then yes. Lily doesn't turn around, but says, "You said yourself that I..." Judy starts to panic and says, "I lost my temper. Is that a reason not to work for me?" Lily spins around now, repeating, "Work for you?" Judy scrambles: "With me. I meant 'with me.'" Lily won't let her off the hook and claims, "That's how you see this, Judy, not as partners." Judy protests, but Lily rudely waves her hand for silence and announces, "I can't do it." Judy starts groveling, which is just pathetic considering that she is the one with the money. The front door slams and Rick bellows, "Lil?" Lily and Judy look at each other for a second, and Lily informs Judy that yelling and freaking out like she did "is not how you get people to listen to you." The phone rings and Lily reaches for it, but Judy asks her to please not answer it right now. She continues groveling and pleads, "Lily, please don't look for another job." Lily squints at her and looks reluctant, but she's saved from answering when Rick bursts into the bedroom, breathless. "So, Karen phones me at work. She's completely freaked out about Eli seeing you in a towel that time. I mean, you must have mentioned it. I don't know how else..." Rick trails off, watching the looks fly between Lily and Judy. "I'm going to take a shower," he says, and wisely ducks into the safety of the bathroom. Judy has a little trouble meeting Lily's eyes and lamely says, "You didn't say it was a secret." Lily cries, "I didn't think I had to! And it's not a secret. It's just not something --" "What's not a secret?" Grace asks, coming into the room to hand Lily a message. Judy just stares at Grace, while Lily glares at Judy. "Never mind. I don't even want to know," Grace snots. She holds out the note to Lily and says, "Mom, some guy just called from a radio station. He said the job you interviewed for yesterday is still yours if you want it." Now it's Lily's turn to squirm. She hangs her head for a second before looking up at Judy, who's indignantly sucking her cheeks. "Gracie, don't you have to write in your journal?" Lily asks. Grace rolls her eyes and heads toward the door. She stops, turns to look squarely at Lily, and announces, "And I kind of prefer 'Grace' to 'Gracie.'" Judy shoots Lily one more wounded look, rolls her eyes, and walks out. Lily takes a deep breath, pushes herself up from the desk, and goes after Grace.
On the stairs, Judy disgustedly says, "I can't believe you went to a job interview yesterday!" Lily defends herself, saying she thought it was an "opportunity that [she] needed to explore." At the bottom of the stairs, Judy spins and spits, "You agreed to work for me, and the very next day --" Lily cuts her off to point out that Judy said "for" instead of "with" again. She gripes that she agreed to "work with [Judy], not for [her]!" Judy clenches that it was no excuse to go behind her back. Lily waves her hand, lightly admits that she was wrong, and starts to imply that Judy is overreacting. Judy, steaming, says, "I offered you an amazing opportunity, and I'm being honest with you --" "No, you're not!" Lily argues that Judy can't even admit that she wants Lily to work for her and not with her. Judy can't choke out the words to respond. Lily starts to relent and says she doesn't necessarily have to take the job at the station, but Judy interrupts to tell her to take it. Then she storms out the front door, slamming it behind her. Lily sinks to the stairs, wondering how things got this complicated. I'll take "Lying and Sneaking Around" for a thousand, Alex.