The School. A bell rings. Katie comes up to Jessie with a newspaper in her hand, asking if she's seen the review. But just as Jessie gets a look at it, Sarah -- who is reminding me more and more of Cordelia in Margaret Atwood's Cat's Eye -- comes up to the two of them complaining about a teacher named Binder. Sarah starts talking only to Katie, waving her arms in Jessie's face, and making in-joke kind of conversation. Jessie looks a little uncomfortable. Katie explains what happened in their Western Civilization class, and stops Sarah's strange re-enactment with a curt "I know." Then she continues to show Jessie the review in the school paper, which is good, describing Grace as poised and in total control. Sarah sulks. The teenagers do a lot of pouting in this show. Of course, Sarah can't help telling Jessie that the paper mentions the fact that her costume got stuck on the scenery. In response, Jessie bangs her head on her locker. Katie tries to make her feel better by saying that when Jessie started singing, everyone forgot about the scenery tug. Sarah: "But, come on, it was so funny, I don't think anybody's ever going to forget about it." Ouch. Why are teenage girls so nasty to one another? Not a single woman I know escaped this sort of thing growing up. I had this one friend who used to make me walk behind her and my other friends on our way home. Honestly, I was being punished -- who knows for what? It continued like this all through junior high and then, two years ago, this girl turned up as my neighbour here in Toronto. And every time I saw her walking her squawking little dog I wanted to scream. Right. The recap. That's what I'm doing here. Okay, Jessie wants to make sure Sarah's going to fix her costume for tonight's performance. Sarah's response: "Well, gee, Jessie, it's always got to be about you, doesn't it?" Cow. Jessie looks really, really uncomfortable, until Sarah announces she was kidding, making a joke about as funny as sitting on a red-hot poker that just escaped the fireplace. Katie puts her hand on Jessie's shoulder and says, "Don't worry, Sarah can fix it. She can fix anything."
Backstage. Jessie is wearing the poodle skirt. Katie doesn't understand why it's her costume in the first place. Sarah barks at Jessie not to move because she's pinning the bottom. Katie tugs, "I see Phoebe in something hotter." Sarah pulls back: "The concept is that she's innocent." Katie yanks: "A really short skirt can be innocent -- plus it's more '60s." Sarah jerks back: "Well, people also wore skirts like this in the '60s, constantly. I looked it up." The two girls are playing a kind of tug-o-war with Jessie, who just looks incredibly uncomfortable, especially after Sarah barks, "Can you please stop shifting your weight?" Only Jessie hasn't done or said anything. Jessie: "I didn't even know that you two knew each other." In a very Heavenly Creatures moment, Sarah says, "So if you knew Katouschka was my best friend you would have sucked up to me a little bit more, huh?" Then Katie insists, again, that Sarah is kidding, because, man, that girl is quite harsh. Jessie wants to know what the hell "Katouschka" means. Apparently, the two have Russian names for one another. Next, they'll be dreaming of big plastiscine models and plotting to kill their mothers. Katie says, "What should Jessie's Russian name be?" Sarah gives her a look that would wilt a plant, doesn't answer Katie, and then tells Jessie to take off her costume. Sarah wants to get something to eat. Katie doesn't want to hear about her stomach anymore. Jessie wishes the two of them would work out whatever it is they need to work out. As the two warring girls leave, Katie calls back for Jessie to come on, but, of course, they can't leave the room without Sarah making some crack -- in this case, it's "Try not to get stuck on any trees."