Once Upon a Time in Wonderland
Bad Blood

Episode Report Card
Mindy Monez: C | 24 USERS: B+
Daddy Issues

Jafar finds Alice and the Knave at the lake, where they are plotting their idiotic plan to build a floating raft. Jafar stays out of sight and drinks the potion he made out of Alice's father's blood, which is nasty. The potion transforms Jafar into Alice's father, and he calls out for her. Father and daughter reunited! He tells her everything she's ever wanted to hear – you were right all along, I'm sorry I never believed you, can you ever forgive me?, etc. Alice is shocked. Imposter father hugs her and we see a sly Jafar smile behind her. You know, where the Knave is standing. Real smart, Jafar.

Imposter Father claims an "antiquities dealer" hooked him up with a magical mirror that got him to Wonderland, which of course the Knave corroborates as a method of traveling there. Alice is unmoved. She tells him he was always pretty shitty to her, and he abandoned her in a "madhouse" where he pretended she never existed. He's like, well, I'm trying now. Alice says it's too late. YEP. Don't budge on this, Alice. It's good to maintain a grudge against a person this terrible.

Flashback: Young Jafar is serving an important royal meeting. When the Sultan's heir proves to be a little dim, Young Jafar speaks out of turn and undermines the Prince. He also calls the Sultan "father," an even bigger problem. Then comes my favorite scene in the history of this show. The Prince enters Jafar's servant quarters and bitch slaps him several times with his little tiny baby Prince hands. It's hilarious. Boyfights! The Sultan interrupts their slap fight only to order the Prince to slap Jafar again. Haha! The Sultan taunts Jafar by making some speech to the Prince about how he's his only heir, and then he makes him slap Jafar again. This is great! He's so tiny and dressed up all fancy for all this slapping! Adorable.

Imposter father works on manipulating the Knave while Alice gathers sticks for her dumb floating raft. The Knave hands him a knife and spills all their secrets about Cyrus. He tells him to help her find her genie if he wants back in with Alice. Note to self: Never tell the Knave of Hearts anything.

Cyrus is lying passed out on the beach like 10 feet away from them, by the way. How great would it have been if he'd just died in that fall?

While Alice and the Knave assemble their bad idea raft, Imposter Father performs a spell in the sand that conjures up a fire-breathing dragon. It turns out to be a minor annoyance, as they all quickly take cover, Alice slashes the dragon with her sword and it immediately dies. I mean. This is storytelling at its FINEST. The brief danger has Jafar's intended effect, as Alice frets over her nearly burned alive father and a bond is formed.

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Once Upon a Time in Wonderland




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