Once Upon a Time in Wonderland
Bad Blood

Episode Report Card
Mindy Monez: C | 24 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Daddy Issues

Back in Agrabah, the Sultan shows up in Young Jafar's room again. This Sultan sure loves hanging around the servants' quarters, huh? The Sultan drowns Young Jafar in a bucket of water and has his body thrown out with the trash. That is dark! This show hates fathers the way American Horror Story hates mothers this season.

Sex Cage Tower. Alice's father says grace before enjoying his bowl of prison gruel, and his neighbor says some more cryptic things about how what Jafar really wants is something from him that he will never give. Like, we know he's the Sultan. We've known for a while. Out with it.

The Knave, Alice and Imposter Father have cooked the dragon over a fire and are enjoying a nice little BBQ. That comes to a screeching halt, however, when Imposter Father doesn't know that he's supposed to say grace, and Alice immediately knows that he's not who he says he is. Well. So much for that. At least they didn't drag this out over six episodes like they do with every other little thing. Alice pulls the Knave away and fills him in as they ditch him. Imposter Father knows something's up, summons his serpent staff and turns back into Jafar.

Young Jafar wakes up in the garbage like one of those sad, poorly euthanized puppies you read about. Looks like his mother's golden spirit mist rescued him. Can't wait for that to get in the way when Alice finally kills him in episode 13.

Jafar drags Alice's father out of his cage and tells him it's time to die. Alice and the Knave are hiking up a mountain when Jafar flies down from the floating island on his magic carpet, Alice's father in tow, screaming really weirdly. I don't think the actor had ever screamed in his life before filming this episode. Jafar jettisons him out over the water and tries to get Alice to use a wish on him. Facing certain death, Alice's father finally says all the things Imposter Father said to her, but, you know, more authentically. Alice tears up and forgives him. Ugh. He tells her Cyrus has escaped, the first helpful thing he ever did for her. Jafar drops him, and she uses a wish to get him out of Wonderland. Goddammit, Alice. Jafar flies away happy.

Despite all this being a massive fuck up, Alice actually feels great about everything. She has closure about her father, and she knows Cyrus escaped. Yeah, for now. But at this rate you'll lose your third wish by next week.

Alice's father wakes up at home, on the same couch he used to make Alice sleep on. His bitch wife shows up and he starts talking crazy about Wonderland, hard core activating her side-eye. He tells her it was a dream, but his face tells a different story. Crazy's on the other foot now.

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Once Upon a Time in Wonderland

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