It’s the Winter Finale! Where anything can happen! A lot gets resolved, actually. And thank god, because this show has been stagnant as hell thus far. Ages ago, Alice and Cyrus established a rendezvous point in case things went sideways. Both of them spent the episode making their way there, and aided by the Knave, the White Rabbit and, oddly, the Red Queen, they found each other. They did one of those hug-n-spins that they do on The Bachelor hometown dates, so you know it’s real love.
Jafar had an Aladdin Sane guard steal Cyrus’s bottle from the Red Queen for him, but being the clever girl she is, the one she kept in the chess piece palace was a decoy. The real bottle was kept in the old wagon she used to live in with the Knave. She also kept the White Rabbit’s family prisoner there (his wife was voiced by Whoopi Goldberg, but more on that later), so we have final confirmation that that’s why he was acting like such an ass all season. After some quick thinking, the Knave figured out that that’s where she would keep them, and the White Rabbit was also reunited with his loved ones. Bunny love!
When Jafar realized the Red Queen had the real bottle while he had a fake, he conjured up a poorly CGI’d black cloud that bore a striking resemblance to the Smoke Monster. REUNIONS ALL OVER THE PLACE THIS WEEK! It’s a lighting storm with a targeting feature, and he ordered it to kill the Red Queen.
Unfortunately, it found Alice, Cyrus, the White Rabbit and the Knave at the rendezvous point and missed its first strike, hitting the Knave instead. Which is an even bigger problem because of Alice’s dumbass first wish about dying if the Knave of Hearts dies. Alice refused to make her third wish to save them because it would imprison Cyrus, but the Knave remembered that she promised him a wish if he helped her find Cyrus. The Knave wished to end Alice’s suffering, a horribly vague wish that saves Alice, frees Cyrus (his genie situation caused her suffering, you see) and made them swap places. So The Knave is a genie in a bottle now. Gotta ruh-hub him the right way.
See you in March!
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Alice and Cyrus sit watching the stars by a roaring campfire, so you know this is a flashback to their LOVE. In Wonderland, falling stars fall gently, like pretty little white snowflakes, instead of fiery balls of death and destruction like they do in Armageddon. So this place has its perks after all, I guess. They kiss in their virginal, passionless way, which leads to Alice finding a spinning compass on him. She asks what it is. He quickly claims it's nothing. So, totally a huge something. Turns out his mother gave it to him back when he was human. Alice's mind is blown that he used to be human, and she's a little annoyed he kept that from her, in a perfectly girlfriend kind of way. Cyrus explains that the compass is magic – it used to always point in the direction of his mother, so he could feel connected to her no matter what. But a few years ago it just stopped pointing, so… RIP, he guesses. God, try being a mother in this story world. They all croak.
Suddenly, they are attacked by marauders – with swords! They want the genie and the wishes he brings, but they make the mistake of underestimating the pretty girl in a pink dress. Alice puts on her badass pants and single-handedly takes down two of them, hands Cyrus a sword, and they team up to take care of the remaining jerks. Yay, victory! Except one of them has sliced Alice in the gut, and she passes out in Cyrus's arms. Yee-ow!
Alice and the Knave peer behind a forest tree watching Jafar's guards search for Cyrus. The Knave wisely points out that if they're looking for him that means he hasn't been captured yet, as if these guys have cell phones or any other speedy means of communicating with each other. Alice knows where Cyrus would go – they apparently have a safe house of some kind – so they better get going.
Meanwhile, Cyrus is running through the forest when he gets caught by an ankle snare festooned in beautiful fall colors. This being Wonderland, that snare is also a radio that transmits the sounds of Cyrus struggling to an identical plant in the hedge maze outside the Red Queen's castle. An Aladdin Sane guard intercepts the sounds and runs off to tell the Queen, when he sees his brother across the maze. He follows him and discovers him handing Jafar a box and just openly discussing how he stole it from the Queen and is totally a double agent for Jafar. Least discreet hand-off ever. Other Aladdin Sane guard is horrified to learn of this betrayal.