Once Upon a Time in Wonderland
The Serpent

Episode Report Card
Mindy Monez: B- | 25 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
When the Pawn…
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

"Agrabah… many years ago." We're back in the same marketplace where Jafar choked out that poor scarf vendor a couple weeks ago. This time, we meet a very hairy blacksmith (his back looks like Burt Reynolds' chest!) with a hot temper and a boy assistant he treats like crap. So, this is Jafar's backstory. The blacksmith beats the boy and starves him and tells him he should have left him in the gutter where he found him. If only Jafar had had a good childhood, we all could have been spared this entire show.

As baby Jafar cowers in fear of his blacksmith overlord, the people outside begin cowering in fear of a woman entering the marketplace. She is played by Zuleikha Robinson, one of the terrorists from Homeland Season 2 (speaking of shows I'd rather we were all spared from) and one of the new characters that didn't end up mattering very much from the final season of Lost. She works a lot, is what I'm saying.

Anyway, she saunters through the market as people flee in terror. Everyone turns away from her, but Jafar decides to make intense eye contact because he kind of has nothing to lose. The blacksmith warns him that she'll "burn us where we stand" if he keeps staring at her, but the woman decides she's not in a firestarting mood and moves on.

At nightfall, baby Jafar knocks on the woman's door just on the outside of town. She's very annoyed, but more in a "Why are you interrupting my stories?" kind of way than "I AM EVIL YOU WILL DIE"! Jafar wants her to teach him the arts of dark magic so he can get revenge on his deadbeat dad the Sultan. Jafar hates the Sultan "with the fire of a thousand suns." Big 10 Things I Hate About You fan, that Jafar. And so is she, apparently. With that, she decides to take him under her wing of evil.

Back in Wonderland, the Red Queen is enjoying some new jewels with her Aladdin Sane guards when Jafar shows up. They trade some passive aggressive barbs and when Jafar accuses her of keeping secrets from him, she plays dumb. Jafar makes some demands, blah, blah, blah. These Red Queen and Jafar scenes sure are tedious, aren't they? Bottom line is that Jafar wants the Knave dead because he's Jafar and he likes to make people dead. The Red Queen keeps her past with him a secret and silently frets over how to get out of this. Also, she pronounces "purpose" like "porpoise," which is fun for all of us, I think.

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Once Upon a Time in Wonderland

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