Mary Margaret is a stalker, but luckily she has Emma, her good friend/roommate/daughter to point this trait out to her. This doesn't stop Mary Margaret from obsessing over David, but when she catches his wife Catherine with a pregnancy test, she allllmost thinks twice. Luckily a lost dove (who mates for life!) falls into her life and she has absolutely has no choice but to bring the bird to the Pet Shelter where her object d'amour works. It's all the bird's fault!
A storm is coming to Storybrooke, but what's worse is that a stranger is in town and Regina doesn't like it. To get Emma to look into the guy, Regina tells Emma that the dude was skulking around Henry. That springs Emma into action and she tracks the stranger down at Granny's. After some back and forth, Emma makes him tell her what's in the box he's carrying. He says he'll tell her, but only if she promises to go out for a drink with him. She agrees and he shows her a typewriter. He's a writer! OOOOooooOOOOooooo. Right?
Meanwhile in the Magical Kingdom, Snow White has had it up to here with all this thinking about Prince James. So Red Riding Hood mentions that she knows a guy who does some back-alley love killing. His name is Rumpelstiltskin and the only price he asks to make Snow White's love die is a piece of hair. What kind of weird economy does he work in? Also, gross. Snow leaves with his magical potion, but before she can chugalug, James sends a pigeon for her with a note saying something along the lines of, "Sorry I haven't called babe, I'm supposed to get married in a few days, but if you still want me, stop on by the castle and we can totally hook up." Winner winner sushi dinner, right?
Snow heads for the castle, but before she can hook up with James, a guard catches her and throws her in the brig for trespassing. She finds herself in the clink with Grumpy, until his brother Stealth springs them from jail. Back in real life, Mary Margaret is driving around looking for her stray dove's flock, because she needs a distraction from dear old David. Then she almost falls down a cliff trying to reunite the darn bird with his family. Luckily David saves her. They get caught in the storm and are forced to take shelter in an abandoned cabin. Mary lasts two seconds before confessing that she still has feelings for him. He echoes her, but then she reminds him about his pregnant wife. Turns out David didn't know that little tidbit, but he still wants to hold Mary's hand. She puts the kibosh on that, because he's married and his wife might be pregnant and ew, really? She likes that guy?
Meanwhile Snow White, Grumpy and his brother Stealthy disagree on how to escape from the castle. The dwarves make the wrong choice and Stealthy, well, there's a reason he's not in the stories. Snow saves Grumpy's life by surrendering to the king. The king tells Snow that if she doesn't tell James she doesn't love him, he will kill him. It's not his son, he doesn't care. So it's kind of a no-brainer and since Snow doesn't want James dead, she tells him she's just not that into him. Snow walks away in tears and hooks up with the seven remaining dwarves who invite her to live with them and convince her not to take Rumpelstiltskin's magic potion. The next day, though, Prince James' wedding is off, but it's too late. Snow couldn't handle the pain and took Rumplestiltskin's potion and now she can't ever remember who James is.
IRL, David finds out that Katherine's not pregnant. She convinces him to get therapy, which starts with not getting coffee at Granny's every morning. Mary Margaret has also decided not to go to Granny's, but then they both end up at Granny's anyway and make out in broad daylight in front of Regina. Not quite a fairytale ending, but it'll do.
Come back for the full recap as soon as humanly possible.
Lulu Bates a.k.a. Melissa Locker looks just like Snow White or maybe Grumpy. You can follow her on Twitter @woolyknickers.
Welcome to Storybrooke! I am your friendly neighborhood guide filling in for Cindy who had it up to HERE with this show and needed a week off to re-read her favorite fairy tales and spend some quality time with the real Maleficent. Totally rational behavior.
The show opens in the "real" world (what is real? Let's all think about that for a while and pretend we're in college, really really drunk) where a mysterious scruffy man is fixing his motorcycle. Lock up your daughters, people, because he's a Bad Boy. You can tell because Bad Boys because they can't figure out how to work a razor (is it up? is it down? What is the baddest brand of shaving cream?) and they all drive motorcycles.
So the mysterious stranger is fixing up his bike when Henry wanders up to him because his mother never taught him not to talk to strangers and, let's face it, this kid has no boundaries. He asks the stranger all sorts of questions about what he's doing in Storybrooke , what's in the box strapped to his motorcycle, how life is like a box of chocolates and the guy is giving curt but polite answers that don't really tell us anything. Henry is about to have a conniption fit over all the mystery, but the man roars off on his motorcycle and Regina comes out and hollers at her idiot kid for talking to unshaven men who aren't Amish.
A storm is brewing, which clearly Means Something, because a storm is never just a storm on these shows. Who will get trapped in it? Let's start guessing now! Oh please, we all know it's going to be. I'll let you figure it out for yourself. Here's a hint: Emma is sipping her coffee and watching the weather report when Mary Margaret rushes out causing a little tornado of her own. She claims she is late for school, but she heads straight to Granny's, grabs a table, fixes her hair and then pretends to be busy reading when David walks in.
David grabs two coffees (one for his wife!) and then turns and sees Mary Margaret studiously ignoring him. He interrupts her reading to make light chit chat. She pretends she barely remembers where she knows him from and they joke awkwardly about his job at the animal shelter and whether the animals have started to take over the world yet. Hahaha. Wait, that is nothing to joke about, Show.
David bids her farewell, and goes to the car where his wife is waiting. He gives her a peck and her coffee. While Mary Margaret stews in frustration at the fact that the love of her life is married. How rude! To make matters worse, Emma totally busts Mary Margaret in her lie. She sits down at the table and calls her out on her creepy stalking. The man is married, okay? And sure, you're fated to be together in a different world, but come on. Mary Margaret has far too Catholic a name to be considering this. And yet! As Emma points all of this out to her, Mary Margaret pouts, "Love is the worst. I wish there was a magic cure for it." Cue cutting to the Enchanted World.