Once Upon a Time
Once Upon a Time

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LuluBates: A | 715 USERS: B
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Why the Caged Bird Sings

Mary Margaret is driving through the storm and while her two hands are on the wheel, she is taking her eyes off the road to cast glum looks at the poor sad caged bird riding shot gun. Safety first, Mary Margaret! No one cares like you do, or would save the bird if your car goes off the road. It's up to you! That caged forever alone bird is clearly your spirit animal.

Cut to Snow White sitting in a field contemplating drinking a hair and whether or not that revolting process is worth it to rid her mind of thoughts of Prince James. Luckily she doesn't have to make her choice right then because James' dove finds her. She pulls the note from the bird's leg and reads it. Prince James tells her that he's about to get married, but if she wants to hook up before then he'd be totally in to it. She just needs to walk to the castle, sneak in and come find him. He's a real prince. [Insert eye roll.]

Snow who apparently had a brain tumor for breakfast thinks this idea sounds awesome and she starts walking. I'm sending in a dove with a copy of He's Just Not That Into You attached to its leg. I mean, come on woman, you spear hunt! Don't fall for this hey baby malarkey.

IRL, Mary Margaret drives deep into the woods. The road is closed, but she grabs the bird's cage and continues on foot. Snow grabs a basket of flowers and a cloak to sneak into the castle. She succeeds, but before she can hook up meet up with James she is grabbed by the royal guards and thrown in the hay-lined clink. She tries to find a way out of the cell, but there appears to be no way out of, you know, a jail cell. Now if only the jailer had left his keys on a hook and she could hook her belt together with Bobby's, Peter's and Greg's belt and Marcia's, Jan's and Cindy's shoelaces and grab the keys!

Instead, all she has to contend with is Grumpy. The dwarf, not the life choice. Grumpy tells her that he's been stuck in there foreves and there is no way out. Snow tells Grumpy that she has True Love on her side and she has to get out and Grumpy snorts. He was in love once, and now look at him. Just when Snow is about to get in a serious funk, Grumpy's brother comes to spring him. What impeccable timing you have! Stealthy Dwarf unlocks Grumpy, but leaves Snow White there. Well, he was going to, but when Snow called after Grumpy wishing him good luck in finding love again, Grumpy (who really doesn't live up to his name) unlocks her door.

Once Upon a Time

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